Sunday, February 27, 2005

FINE i changed all the captions becuz audrey said my captions were boring. "some church" "some restaurant" "some lake"

i really can't remember okay.

uploaded some videos into the album.

my godmother bought abercrombie & fitch for me!!!!!!!!!!!!
from Vegas!!!!!! :DDDD

i'm scouting for a new phone. what do you think of nokia 9300? or the samsung swing phone?

i think its 6:06 PM now

Saturday, February 26, 2005

apparently i locked my album. thanx moonie! for pointing it out. just ask me for the password. i'm too lazy to upload it all over again

i think its 11:25 PM now

CLICK !

thanks to europe, i'm only drinking gas water now. it's like coke without the calories.

and please allow me to mention. when i went to see a doctor over there in switzerland, the consultation fee was 54 euros. which is you know, just about 120 bloodybucks. i was so bloody pissed. and that's without the medicine. no wonder the clinic looked like a palace. @%&*!$

in Milan, old woman sold flowers. old men played accordions on cobbled-street corners. Lovers kissed on bridges. restaurants with art-nouveau mirrors, and waiters in long white aprons. the women were all whippet-thin with names like Chantel and Severine;they spoke in voices high and delicate as chiming bells and carried small clipped poodles. The men were called Jean-something and pouted soulfully through smoke of their Davidoff. Everyone smoked and drank and argued and made love with passion and style.

i detest the humid weather.

i remember being so frightened when we were driving up the hill. the road which was only wide enough for one car was frozen to ice. and how my heart escaped into my throat when i felt the car rolling downhill without friction.

and i remember fighting the urge to turn back when i leaped off the slope in my gear.

the sun burning through my visor, the biting wind stinging my ears, the way my shoulder felt when it slammed into a pine tree.

and the first time i sank my teeth into the goulash.

overpriced products are probably the only thing i don't like about europe. kns the first night the hotel we picked was quite pricey and could like, get a room in marriot but it turned out to be a 3 star hotel with creaking floorboads and dim lights. but their breakfasts were good.

but please do click above and check out my mom pointing her middle finger

i think its 10:01 PM now

four car accidents, 2 cold bites, i fell down only like a million times, everyone got sick, ate superbly hard breads, almost lost my sony cybershot, but overall - it was fanfuckingtastic.

cheese, good. liver dumplings, good. bread, good. meats, good. wine, GOOOOD.

it was really, really cold. no that's not enough. it was really, really, REALLY cold. but i loved the weather. i like how my ear stings everytime the wind gushes past. i like how i can't feel my nose and, very embarrasingly, have my aunty tell me water is dripping from it. i've never seen anything quite like white everywhere. the castles. the churches. too bad i couldn't be more appreciative of european history. all i had in my mind was Milan, milan, milan.. :D

the scenary overwhelmed me truly. and the company. HMM. though i was the only kid, i had great glee in taking full advantage of that fact and my un-thinning hair. haha. and i like those endless car rides, just staring out the window, trying to take in everything all at once. the temperature seemed to hover around minus 5 all the time and it was a chore wearing so many clothes everyday. i wore 2 socks and a stocking. and i still had a cold bite on my toe. but it was all good. i did what i wanted to do ever since i was 6. that is, riding in a horse carriage up to the Ludwig Castle in Bavaria.

i really like horses.

and i really like casual driving ard, just going wherever the wheel takes you, stopping by any cafe to drink hot cocca. eat lemon sponge cake. i think i got what i wanted - peace of mind. and tommy flip flops too. but it cleared my mind.

maybe i was too blind to the addiction. i thought stepbystep was the best, to see how it goes, see if we're doing the right thing, but somehow, deep inside, it didn't matter to me whether or not this goes on. it didn't matter to me whether our friendship is hurling through the wall, or has it already been out the door.

i'm best alone.

so when YOU told me what YOU told me when i got back, i'm okay with what you said. relieved. because love triangles are dangerous shapes. they're sharp. they hurt people.

-

i missed max the most. she threw her tantrum today when i had to leave. had to chase her around in the estate with the scooter. she scoots better than me.

i'm jet-lagged. i can't sleep. :(( hide and seek today was freaking scary i swear. pls don't watch it if you're a)xiuting b)allergic to sudden, loud noises or c)a wussy.

and i'm so sad i'm back so fast. just because the mother has to work and fly off next week. oh well. what a mood damper. but i'm quite happy to be back. i miss singapore food alot. i miss my market's mixed mee. and kiliney's mee siam. and my maid's iced honey lemon tea.

well, you can take a girl out of singapore, but you can't take singapore out of a girl. :))

no more bread, cheese, ham and/or anything remotely related to them for the next few days. especially cheese. i'm so fucking sick of it

ohh i bought chocolate fondue! let's buy marshmallows and strawberries to lap up with it!

i think its 1:33 PM now

Friday, February 25, 2005

and where is the good is goodbye?

i think its 8:52 PM now

Saturday, February 19, 2005

i'm sitting at the local laundramatte, frezzing my ass off, while waiting for all the clothes to spin dry. im having the hardest time typing cuz the keyboard is totally different! 1.90 euro per 15 minutes. what the. anyway i this place is beautiful. bloodz beautiful. i gotta go before the net switches off itself. im verz cold. dipped to minus 10 yesterday. bye!

i think its 1:14 AM now

Sunday, February 13, 2005

its just another sad love song
rackin my brain like crazy

it was hard at first. hard because it was you and it all seemed so strange
then it was hard because i had to fight away and deny all those feelings
then it became harder when i had to lie, and come to realize our friendship had walked itself out the door

and then for an instant, it all became so easy.

but now it's hard again because walking away became easier for us
and it would always be this hard, knowing we can never go back to the way we were, knowing we can never be what we wanted to be, knowing that the both of us? it's never gonna be off the table.

mousey wasn't kidding when he said "you don't need a reason".

i think its 5:10 PM now

and i can't stop caring about,
about the apple of my eye

i think its 12:13 AM now

Saturday, February 12, 2005

in 1 day's time, i'd be leaving this island of an oven.

bought my beanie today! its very very colourful. but it cheers me up, plus, it goes really well with my black sherlock holmes trench coat. and my leather boots. :DDD

i hate packingggg. i mean whats the point of packing it myself when my maid and/or mom takes it out and re-packs it again? what an insult. -snorts.

i wanna bring my smelly paopao but my mom don't allow. how she expects me to sleep at night lor? -folds arms. okay never mind. i'll stuff it in between her trench coat.

my aunties went off today. i didn't know! i thought we're all going together. boohoohoo. but i bought a book. and love songs vol2. WHEEE :))) who loves sappy music more?

haha she just asked why does her coat take up so much space hahaha

you know how you have a list of special moments? well, the moment when i opened your present's climbing the charts.

im gonna starve myself tml to reserve precious tummy space for silver kris lounge food and... airplane food!! yummm. i shall wear my cute socks tml and SIA sanitary pads are like, so comfortable.

WHEEEEE i can barely contain my excitement. am gonna go back to that swiss family we've known for years. i hope their dogs are still around. i hope i can go horseback riding although they would only trust me with the pony

yeah i can RIDEEEE

i think its 11:11 PM now

Thursday, February 10, 2005

tonight, momentarily, you made me my happiest in weeks. laughing and drinking - you chased those demons away.

for that, i can never thank you enough.

i like my aunties and uncles. they are very generous.
i like ang pows. they are very moneyrous.

3 more days. 3 more days. thank you in advance zoo people for coming to send me off! arghhh i can't wait. i wanna go visit the place where sound of music was filmed. i wanna eat airplane food. i wanna watch movies back-to-back until my eyes become so red. i wanna go snowboarding. i wanna smell cowdung every morning and drink fresh goat's milk. i wanna talk and see vapour coming out of my mouth. i wanna be so cold that i can't feel my nose. i wanna eat cheese until i puke. i wanna go yatching. i wanna wear my fur boots. and my fur coat. and my fur gloves. and act like cruella deville. HAHA do you think they have fur panties ?

i love my grandmother. i love going to her house. she stuffs me with food. i like people who stuff me with food. i like people who give me food. i'm Buddha.

-

i like sitting close to you, playing chinese poker all day long.

earwax : REO Speedwagon - Can't fight this feeling

i think its 11:57 PM now

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

remember how this played on your lips; singing to me softly while i drift off into sleep.

when did you last let your heart decide ?

footnote : the corner spanish restaurant off siglap road serves great banana barcardi.

i think its 5:46 PM now

Sunday, February 06, 2005

my cousins came over and made a huge mess of my room. ate every possible thing we found in the fridge. cheese and crackers. chocloate truffles. soba noodles. and some solid thing that has been sitting out for very, very long. ulergh. watched My Best Friend's Wedding on axn. big fat tear jerker i swear.

max turns me around, looks me in the eye, and asks if i'm all right. i wonder how she knows, how she sees through me like glass. thats because you're unusually humorous today. so we all sat in my room, and screamed to boulevard of broken dreams all night.

it's getting tiresome. suddenly, i can't wait for you to come back. very much.

i think its 1:18 AM now

Friday, February 04, 2005

It's not missing you that kills me.. It's knowing i once had you in my life that does.

i think its 11:56 PM now

there is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy.

Her heart.

i think its 12:39 PM now

Thursday, February 03, 2005

is it all? or are we just friends?
is this how it ends
with a simple telephone call
you leave me here with nothing at all

my mother called me from cheng du today. amidst all the crazy phone calls, the incessant workload, the seemingly endless stream of demand drafts to do. i can't remember if i started sobbing before i ran to the toilet.

she felt so bad for leaving me alone, and i felt so bad for making her feel so bad. and i feel so bad for making my dad feel bad about making my mom feel bad about leaving me at home alone. and i feel greattt now because she's gonna buy a gift back for me.

and you'd think gifts and money can buy me over. it's always been like this; before she flies off somewhere, she'd push me 2 hundred dollars, thinking i'll feel better. well, slightly only. slightly.

i mean, cmon, i should be used to being alone at home, right? have been that way since i was 10. i remember the first time both my parents were away; my dad in US my mom in paris. i was 10, and i still remember relishing the new-found freedom. hell, i even invited all my friends over for a major slumber party. right now.. i just don't wanna come home to an freakin empty house. what's all the space for? i might as well have a box.

anyway i'm very happy tonight. because i'm talking to the pantyliners! :))) god, they really do cheer me up.

i think its 10:35 PM now

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

one - has a cutter of a tongue. the other; lips so acid.

put them together, what do you get?

if its a fling.. shouldn't it be.. flung by now?

i'm getting closer to my colleagues than i ever thought i might.. silly lina. skinny lina. silly skinny lina banana. you're the reason i pull myself out of bed and get to work every morning. adrian; you're fecking adorable can!? Mr Lim, oh dear. you're my lover forever and always. and.. hmm.. OHHH i have a crush on YOUUUU...

and ting. thank you for just being there. i love you! :)) hope you have great use with the cd i burned for you.. -winks.

i think its 10:43 PM now

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

it must have been good
but i lost it somehow
from the moment we touched
'till the time had ran out

-

if i should stay, i would only be in your way
so i'll go
but i know i'll think of you every step of the way

so goodbye
please don't cry

sometimes, just sometimes, the best things aren't always wrong.
and the right things.. aren't always the best.

i think its 10:02 PM now