Sunday, January 30, 2005

believe it or not, i'm going for this.

i wish i could say, like, i'm a president, if not vice-president, of some students council, chinese orchestra, badminton team etc. OR i have fantastic academic results. but fucken balls. Global Young Leaders Conference?

maybe they got my name wrong, or maybe they had inaccurate results against my name. or just maybe, i'm that brilliant.

-rolls eyes.

and yes, i'm representing singapore. they freaking made a fucken mistake i tell you. i'm gonna be there shaking my legs, spouting vulgarities, knowing zilch about politics and international trade; worse, i could be apathetic about it. really -pats- you guys seriously made a Capital H Capital U Capital G Capital E mistake.

so, i have a choice of either the europe leg, or the usa leg. the europe leg would cover Vienna (YES AUSTRIA!!), prague and budapest. the usa; washington and nyc. my mother suggests the usa, cuz she says i might get to meet Kofi Annan. then she got really, really, really excited and started jumping around.

and i'd be wasting my mooooney since i'm already going austria in 2 wks time. so. yeah, i shall go the US one.

if you have abode acrobat.. the itinery. sounds highly fascinating. -looks heavenward.

oh wells. 4000 USD down the drain. i would rather spend it on more enriching and mind-stimulating stuffs, like, shopping, or sorts.

but..... i'm going NEW YORK THIS SUMMER !!! :))))) screw it, it'd be an oppurtunity of a lifetime. a freak of nature, may i add.

-

shopping today. got everything i wanted. :))))
finally got my cashmere sweater from dkny. its brilliant yellow. thank you donna karen! thank you Ralph. and err, thank you.. guess?

work tomorrow. longgg day. getting incredibly busy. i don't even have time to run to the loo. and before i know it, it'd be 5pm. but its all good, time flies by. they let me use the computer now!! :)) so i can enter the system. and i almost stapled my finger. ouch.

Finding Neverland was captivating. please really watch it.

and ohh, i received my credit card bill today. shredded it almost immediately. if my mother found out.. my skin would be in the blender. along with my card. how in the fantastic world did i clock up so much money. i'm like 50 feet under shit.

and i think i'm like, the female version of alfie. the whole floating from relationship to relationship, i-want-a-lover-i-don't-have-to-love, hurting-people-ostensibly-trying-to-hide-my-own-feelings thing. maybe you'll turn that all around.

yeah, right.

i think its 10:36 PM now

Saturday, January 29, 2005

cuz even when i dream of you
the sweetest dream will never do

one year ago, if you had asked me what's most important in a relationship, i would have told you it was attraction. ask me now, and i'll tell you its communication.

i'd wake up; only i'm not sleeping.

i think its 10:00 AM now

fuckkkkk. i lost my bid on ebay. fuckernathan. i really wanted that abercrombie shirt. tmd and its all because of YOUUUUU.

you said i made your legs weak.

well, you make my soul weak.
TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL DAMMIT

does the feeling seem ohh, so right?
there's no easy way.. it gets harder each day.

i think its 2:53 AM now

Thursday, January 27, 2005

what good is a love affair?

they'd say we're crazy, but what do they know ?

i think its 10:03 PM now

could it be, that the vodka was talking ?

i'd bet it was the alcohol kissing.

i think its 10:20 AM now

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

i slept on the bus ride home from work today. as most of you might know, yes, that's a bloody miracle.

everytime Lucy calls out to me, it rreally sounds like a howler from harry potter.

i'm not interested in you anyfuckingmore. so piss off i'm way outta your league hahah

wanting to work it out, and working it out - that's two very different, very heart-breaking situations. which one will it be? which one?

commitophobia.

i think its 9:47 PM now

Saturday, January 22, 2005

what's love gotta do with it ! what's love but a second hand emotion?

next on my list, bright lime green polo from RL. that's all i'm asking, that's all i'm asking. preppy clothes are so in this spring. bright, brilliant colours.

i can't believe ellen degeneres and portia de rossi are dating. :

had a blast shopping with rach and mom today. :)) everything is just so funny with them around. singapore is a barren land i swear. where do everyone get their clothes?

i'd bet she's pretty this time of the year.

i think its 9:50 PM now

crazy shit today. 6 cabs. wtf i'm blowing all my money on a company whose drivers i've loathed all my life.

class outing, ajisen. baby's crib, and then triple dating at nydc at HMV. got my elephantcino - yayness. tampines for elektra. another triple date, this time with different people and an extra sillyboy. prata fix at simpang bedok with the two Rays. rach is driving ! heart-stoppingly terrifying. :S

knackered. aviator is borr-ing. don't watch it; unless the need to see leonardo's bare ass arises.

nights world.

i think its 1:46 AM now

Thursday, January 20, 2005

baby got back.

alfie one hour ago. jude law is hotly hot; and sienna miller is.. not very booby. and oh, i took leave today. first day of work, and i'm already taking leave. work's fun and enriching, don't get me wrong, packing all those boxes. but i wanna be able to have the open option of watching dvds whenever i want, eating whenever i want, sleeping whenever i want etc. work stinks.

everytime you reappear in my life, you expect the time lapse between your disappearance and your reappearance to disappear.

and when you kiss me like that
it's so hard to believe
but it's all coming back to me..

i think its 1:26 AM now

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

went down to IDP today to register for the uni of melbourne thingy. (there's where you have to go if you wanna study in aussie.) anyhow, hooked up with a counselor, got all the application forms, found out how much it will cost to study there, and thereafter decided that i would rather get 1 bmw and 1 merz with that money. and still have surplus to get 100 iPods. blood suckers, really. eat my poo lah.

went to ex-SJI for dome and a quick fix of latte and spinach sandwich! and i was just lamenting that i am JOBLESS, devastatingly bored and free and bored, and i really do hate taking money from my parents, even though i still take at regular intervals. and there i was, going on and on about the derelict state of my life, when i received a call from SIA Eng., asking me to start work tml.

so yes, laugh all you want, this girl is starting work ! :`(

just before that, i was waving my big plans to do volunteer work at the United Nations and/or at charities cuz the mother thinks that it would be a bonus on my med sch applications. and she was rather crushed that i wanted to work instead, thus felt the need to disparage me: "aiyah, you'll work for a few days and get bored with the peanuts pay and quit." -_-

okay, that didn't come off very well. at least now i've got the chance to wear my ck men's shirt that i bought a few months ago and have yet to cut out the tag. see what i mean? don't feel bad for buying clothes. they always come in handy.

i think its 8:57 PM now

open your heart to me baby
i hold the lock and you hold the key
open your heart to me darlin'
i'll give you love if you,
you turn the key

for something i want, don't try to resist me

decided i have too little songs on my laptop for a good enough reason to buy an iPod; hence, i downloaded every possible hit song from the 80s.

i really should have gotten that best actress award this morning at the golden globes. really. i'm getting pretty fantastic at this whole facade-thing.

i was moody, intolerant, distant and brash. it's been too long. i wish those cobwebs would stop spinning itself on my memory. come back to bed; i'm going insane. i'm sorry, i guess i took out out my anger on your absence.

i hear your voice on the line.. but it doesn't stop the pain
and i cradle the phone between my neck.
right where you used to plant kisses there.. remember?

party. out.

i think its 1:04 AM now

Monday, January 17, 2005

oh what are you thinking of what are you thinking of what are you thinking of?

honesty's the best policy. you know what? you have no fucking policy.

3 expressos later and i still don't feel okay. my head is spinning. and they say the only way avoid a hangover is to stay drunk. who says that anyway? parrot crap.

i've been keeping too much shit to myself.

and thank YOU for convincing me not to get that tattoo at 4am.

i think its 5:52 PM now

whatever happened to Knowledge is power?

i swear on my goddamn life, Ignorance is Bliss.

i arch my back; it feels weird without you cupping my languid body..

i think its 1:08 AM now

Sunday, January 16, 2005

since when did menthol lights tasted so good?

i think its 10:27 AM now

people should really stop saying what they don't mean.
and i mean, REALLY.

i think its 1:36 AM now

Saturday, January 15, 2005

okay. i'm weak. i really am. i did a mile on the threadmill today and i almost died from a major arrest of my heart. today, someone looked at me and said, "you better stop telling lies. your nose? its so sharp it can cut metals." (she proceeds to hold her hand far away from her crinkled-up nose, in a pinocchio-like-manner)

yumm.

songs kiddos listen to these days are getting way weird. what happened to songs like this, and these?

sometimes when we touch
the honesty's too much
that i have to close my eyes and hide...

i think its 11:05 PM now

i'll be your dream
i'll be your wish
i'll be your fantasy

i think its 1:22 AM now

Friday, January 14, 2005

strange. i'm feeling things i never thought i could feel. mini crush? blinded infatuation? friendly love that i'm looking too much into? or.. just plain lust.

might be a combination of all of the above.

what a deadly mix.

i think its 2:09 AM now

i miss you so acutely.

i think its 2:00 AM now

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

i'm so happy its sick.

zurich, 13 feb. BOOHOOHOO
i'd be spending my valentine's day with SQ air stewards and stewardesses.
i hope they're good-looking
i hope for some peanuts
SQ peanuts taste great with OJ

is it really senseless that i really like cyndi's Ai Ni ?

i'm trying to shed the holiday weight. stop feeding me, you!

i think its 1:42 AM now

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Rach says:
ya n tmr u'd say u wana be an antopologist
kim*// really, how do you say goodbye ? says:
whats that!?!?
Rach says:
erm analyze ants....?

HAHAHAHAHA. she cracks me up. real bad.

i think its 1:11 AM now

i hold that white thing like a death grasp; the little black screen that constantly reminds me how excruciatingly slow time is passing; i hold it like my lifeline. i carry it with me everywhere i go, almost hysterically, almost posessively. every now and then, it shivers - my heart jumps out of its cage.

i hate myself when it's not you.

i think its 12:38 AM now

Sunday, January 09, 2005

no sooner had i wiped one salt drop from my cheek than another followed.

i think its 1:15 PM now

listening to: Heart - All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You
was reading: Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
was watching: E! true hollywood stories - Hilton Sisters
am eating: gummy bears (out of the palm of your hand)
will be: playing badminton with family later
have just: registered for hatha yoga and CardioBox
would like to: not work
just had: breakfast at kiliney
tried: getting out of going to europe on the 13 of Feb. St. Valentine's Day!! come ON!
just received: Ohio State Uni letter
will be receiving: my abercrombie package from ebay
praying: that my mother does not see it first
top alcoholic drink on my mind: strawberry martini
top brand right now: Tommy Hilfiger!
wants to: meet up with pantyliners.
dreading: every night

i think its 11:40 AM now

you know what? everybody's working. and i'm not. and i know you might say that i'm a "spoilt ass that doesn't have to work" (hippo i shall murder you later) but really, if you think about it? how much more can you earn? if you stay at home all day and eat in, i mean, you'll be saving more than you're spending on the very preposterous transport fees! which is, in my case, not very promising. but see, what i believe is, if you get to earn that bit of money, you tend to get all "oh this is MY money, i'm gonna give myself a good time because i earned it!" therefore, the hard-earned dough gets a boot in the rear. however, if i don't work, hence no cash. and each time i spend some money, i will get guilty. and i reckon that's some good guilt instilled in me, don't you think? i mean, that's humanity. and as i get more guilty, i start to tighten my purse strings. and before you know it, voila! kim ng, Her Royal Saveness.



i need to get a job.

i think its 1:20 AM now

Thursday, January 06, 2005

my love asks for nothing in return.

my love gives everything i have.

i think its 11:06 PM now

I've been wandering around the house all night
Wondering what the hell to do
I'm trying to concentrate but all I can think of is you
Well the phone don't ring cuz my friends ain't home
I'm tired of being all alone
Got the tv on cuz the radio's playing songs that remind me of you

Baby when you're gone
I realize i'm in love
The days go on and on
and the nights just seem so long
Even food dont't taste that good
drink ain't doing what it should
Things just feel so wrong
baby when you're gone

I've been driving up and down these streets
Trying to find somewhere to go
I'm lookin' for a familiar face but there's no one I know

This is torture
this is pain
it feels like i'm gonna go insane
I hope you're coming back real soon
cuz I don't know what to do

i think its 7:18 PM now

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

come back honey, come back quick.

i'll be on my toes, i'll clasp my hand together, i'll eye the driveway.

i think its 11:53 PM now

Monday, January 03, 2005

i love you
weiiiiii
hello!?!?
i love you too
so slow!
damn shagged
lousy pokes

:))

this love is untouchable.

i think its 10:40 PM now