Thursday, July 29, 2004
after tuition yest at starbucks, we sat in the car outside my house and talked until the engine died down, until the traffic slowed to a trickle, until the darkness enveloped us in a blanket of silence and comformity.
it felt good. although some of the words were cutting nonetheless. it had struck where it mattered the most - my resilience. i felt it crumbling into mash pie, and then immediately reforming back.
love's never a pity. a pity love isint what love is. love.
slowly i start to sense the meaning in things.
maybe one day i'll see you through all the fog.
i think i'm hanging out at starbucks wayyy too often.
i think its 10:57 PM now
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
this makes me euphoric. need i say more ?
6th aunt and RYAN's going too!!! AHHHHhh. tues come faster. come faster.
i think its 11:10 PM now
i guess i did. BECAUSE ITS LONDON BABY !! PARIS !! slog your national day away!
i think of all things and people im going to miss, you, i'll miss the most.
i think its 11:05 PM now
i think dreams, mainly, screw people up. two years on, i might be healing. but i take one look at you and my stitches and my resolve slowly meld into what i can only call A Partition that always prevents me from getting to the better part of you.
i want to get better, i want to take as much alcohol and splurt it all over the wound, my wound, that never healed ever since ...
i want a tree house.
maybe you were just a figment of my imagination.
a figment, just as breakable in the storm. you were always waiting, werent you?
nothing makes it worse. but the fact that only the both of us know. i dream, i like to daydream, i spend the brighter days dreaming, i've stopped dreaming; how the hell did i let my pride smoother and cream up so much?
i'm right here, where you want me to be. where's your place beside me?
enough hypothetical questions for tonight. it never did do me good.
you know not the love you've stirred.
i think its 10:28 PM now
Saturday, July 24, 2004
i'm going to London. yes i am yes i am yes i am.
Bournemouth, to be exact.
moosik : We 3 Kings - Hey Miss Hilton
i think its 11:58 PM now
i think its 11:52 PM now
And can you please tell me..
where do broken hearts go?
can they find their way home
back to the open arms
of a love that's waiting there
and if somebody loves you
won't they always love you?
i look in your eyes
and i know that you still care for me
i think its 11:41 PM now
Friday, July 23, 2004
-raises hands. yepp, im hooked on the Da Vinci Code.
bought another topshop top today! bright yellow in colour. yeah i think topshop's clothes are kinda warped. but i like it anyways. i'm warped and flaky too.
Ella Enchanted today. was drugged the entire day, ruminating on whether or not to go london? if jan hears about this, she's gonna nag at me again. seriously, am i insane? prelims are just a few pebbles away, and here i am, running off to UK? tell me i'm not going crackers.
studied abit today in town. then headed to Hyatt for dinner! Mezza 9ine. it's an ultra-hip, painful-to-look-at-the-menu, technological wonderment eatery. lucky we didnt get to go to the Martini bar. dont wanna get wasted the night before tution.
which reminds me! 830am tml. ULERGHHH
i think its 11:14 PM now
Supersize Me on wed. I,Robot yest. -nods. twas good. though im famished now. okay disjointed.
we wanted to watch 4 movies in a row but due to my very thrifty nature now, albeit stingy, i refuse to watch shows on their opening day. $1 more! who makes up these rules anyway?
mom digs the o.c. CMON its sucha teen show. she thinks it tailors the perfect american high life. i just think she likes Kristen's hair very much.
i wonder if popcorn is fatty? im eating it almost everyday. a whole bucket at a time.
sat with max at starbucks couch for a few hours today. i should really order green tea frapp by the large sizes from now on.
sick and twisted ?
moosik: Sugar Cult - Memory
i think its 12:14 AM now
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
"Well-argued. Ample discussions showing maturity of thought and balance."
LOL. got 38/50 for smelly gp. gawd. maybe i should start believing im good? nah.
i'd give anything
and everything
to hear you say
that you'll stay.
all of the money dont amount to you.
bought a ripcurl bottle-bottle today! :))
been quarreling more so than ever with mom. sometimes i have the overwhelming urge to just spend more money just to irritate the hell outta her. i think i've been way too good. i want to disappoint her. maybe i should take up smoking ... but then she goes and spend much more than me. and i'm beaten. HAHAH
i caught a whiff of davidoff
and i remember all those times he walked out of the door to go to work
his starch uniform looks crisp and tart.
the tangy taste lingers on my tongue
i'll take out the markers
and start to tick the seconds off
till he gets home safe.
i'll hug him then, and when he asks, 'hows your day darling?'
i'll just say, 'oh it was okay'.
i think its 10:36 PM now
the precious moments are all lost in the tide
they're swept away and nothing is what is seems
the feeling of belonging to your dreams
And there are voices that want to be heard
so much to mention but you can't find the words
the scent of magic the beauty that's been
when love was wilder than the wind
i think its 10:22 PM now
Monday, July 19, 2004
my ebay package from Florida arrived today. i tore it open, dashed to my room and tried it on. waddaya know? it fits. like a glove. :))
Saves the Day's Freakish has itself on repeat mode on my playlist. why?
anyway, house-hunting really lifts my spirits. we were looking at this penthouse in Sunhaven [Off Changi Road, near Simei?] and it has it own jacuzzi on the rooftop! was gently massaging the idea of how fab it is into my mom's steel head. -sigh. when does my opinion ever matter ?
looked around a couple of houses.. i particularly like that one in Siglap. its pool is magnificent, like really grand. gym's like state-of-the-art. futhermore, starbucks and Gelare's only 100 feet away! and there's this personal veranda. i could go on and on, believe me. but, -shakes head. its not freehold so its off their list. BLEAHH
there was this project in Changi.. Changi Green i think. the agent told us it was sitting on a land of termites. Gees. how horrible ?
so far, Sunhaven's the best. and i really mean DE best. haiya, seeing is believing. it doesnt look too good on a weblog.
gotta go eat my pills. Vitamin pills lah, wot were you thinkin.
moosik : 98 degrees - Because Of You
i think its 9:38 PM now
Saturday, July 17, 2004
shittoes shouldnt have come online man..
stupid alwin's makin me play Checkers with him..
and i'm losing like crazy !! -_-
dont shut me out ...
i think its 11:36 PM now
Friday, July 16, 2004
chocolate buffet today. HAH. thats where i earn all my money back.
how do people get so skrewed up? maybe i shouldnt read your blog anymore. you wanna be bitchy? pls learn it first darlin'. your wannabe attitude's really icking me off.
there's a thin line between full-fledged, intelligent-comebacks bitchy and just plain AH-LIAN bitchy. and that thin line happens to be your pursed lips.
tg why arent you calling me back ? -taps feet.
im sorry but i cant stand people with excessive grammatical errors.
moosik: Frankee - Fuck You Right Back
i think its 9:44 PM now
or fall from the tree
but the best place to fall
is in love with me
i think its 9:06 PM now
Thursday, July 15, 2004
i knew i was a goner, the moment Wonderful Tonight came on. something about that song, just wrenches my heart, empties the emotions, then jolts me with it repeatedly.
you walk in and my strength walks out the door.
yeah, i realized, in one way or another, i wish toigoon's in the same sch as me. a) because i need more familiar faces around. b) i can always count on her when i forget my tys c) she's one of the few that i can totally pig out with and would pig out with me. and i mean really pig out. and not bother whether or not we're putting on that extra few pounds. d) her face's really comforting. -nods. LOL although she suans me like hell -_-
she's gonna say i'm turning all mushy again! hha
WHY. for sweet mother WHY. WHY fooking WHY did i have to open my big mouth?
i told my mom that im spending wayy too much money becuz she's not controlling me and giving me too much financial freedom. WHY. -thrusts head onto barbed wire. was just trying to me a good girl, yknow. WHY. god damn dumb.
-
i hate being compassionate. i hate having to walk by an old woman
i dont feel so bad then.
most people dont know this, but i always have this compulsive urge to give street beggars all my pocket money.
i hope i stop feeling this way.
moosic: nothing.
i think its 9:31 PM now
i was, as usual, not listning, fiddling some stuffs.
colin[looking at his pda]: eh, friday night free or not?
me: whoa lau! stop jio-ing me go chiong [club] with you leh! from now on i'm gonna stay at home every fri and sat night to study okay..no more clubbing for me, i already plan...[launches into entire tirade of nonsense]
colin: -stares blankly-
colin: i was talking about tution lah!!
BISH. #@%&$* how embarassing.
i think its 9:21 PM now
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
if i'd give you two seconds to explain to me why you did wot you did, would you give me another two to tell you how much i've missed you ?
you wouldnt, but its worth the try anyways.
i think i've given up hope on being NOT sick for at least once a month. i can claim up to $500 worth of medical benefits cuz of my dad's RSAF pass, but well, i've exceeded the limit for THIS YEAR ALONE. @$%&*
i dont have to worry anymore. mom got all jittery and bought hoardloads of Vit C and i dunno..some weird stuffs that smells really bad.
weighed myself yday at the clinic. 48.5kg. !! how did i get this light?!? i swear, the last time i hit that was in.. sec 4?
i noticed how much sluggish my life has been. before this week, my meals were popcorn, green tea frapp, frozen yoghurt, popcorn, green tea frapp, frozen yoghurt. not very healthy. i come online, there's only 2 websites i go to: eBay, to see if my bid is succesful; and Outlook Express, to converse with a person called jenny in New York who's handling my eBay stuffs.
which, by the way, reminds me that.. i won that Von Dutch vintage ringer tee!! yay! its REAL, not all those fake ones that Far East or Parkway or Bugis sells.
yknow, for a person who's as egostic as you are, you dont have very much self-confidence.
colin jabbed me in the ribs! *oucH.
the medicine's makin me damn groggy.
moosic: Eric Clapton - Wonderful Tonight
i think its 10:27 PM now
Sunday, July 11, 2004
Well here I am
I don't know how to say this.
The only thing I know is awkward silence
Your eyelids close when you're around me to shut me out
I'll make my way across the frozen sea,
beyond the blank horizon,
when I can forget "you and me" and get a decent night's sleep
why do you stutter and trip over your words whenever you talk to me ?
well i guess people are really intimidated when they speak to me.
-throws head back and lol.
lazy to update. so point form it is.
-tution in the morn
-went town
-felt prouder than ever that i didnt buy anything, thou i really really like that Guess belt. and top. and slacks.
-went house-hunting
-i personally liked Country Park condo!
-its lifts open up Right Into the living room..!
-cold storage is Just Across the street
-didnt really like the 6 other condos we saw
-east palm contains the cutest guy on earth thats damn faggot
-resigned to the fact that im hopelessly in love [non-reciprocal] with von dutch
-coughing my lungs and liver out
not going sch tml.
moosik : Radiohead - Kharma Police
i think its 7:39 PM now
Friday, July 09, 2004
let nature take its course?
nature takes its bloody own sweet time.
-
of course then, you will turn it around, give everyone a sweet and innocent smile, but then really, deep down inside, you scowl and bitch.
blame it on YOUth.
i wanna burn, melt, into the underground, churning and gruntling, reality has a sick and twisted way of presenting itself.
if i cant hear, i dont want to, okay?
listening to M2M makes me feel a whole lot better. teenyboopers rock :))
the perculiar way my heart rail-roads my mind to think in a certain way, towards a certain person..
anyway, sch's today okay. cept that i fell asleep in the library while waiting for a certain person. am wondering if i snored? launched into a major coughing fit. woke everyone up.
am coughing like mad.
audiophile : Pet Shop Boys - West End Girls
i think its 11:19 PM now
Thursday, July 08, 2004
What The Fcuk ?
haha lol.
anyway, Mean Girl's today was so much better than Around the World in 80 Days that day. ughh.
threading, negotiating, maneuvering, through a million pieces of broken glass peppered all over the freshly-cut grass. could this snip more ? dont tell me the grass is greener on the other side.
i really hate creating a huge banshee but... ARGHHHHHHH.
take all of your problems, shove it all in into your already-brimming bag. give me smth new kay?
i think its 10:01 PM now
well, if you haven't heard of it, BOO. you're probably really behind time.
why cant they have a store in singapore? im really really tempted to create an excuse to go to US so i can buy their stuff.
but thats just wishful thinking really. dont talk about the airfare. talk about their stuffs! a trucker cap costs $65!?! US dollars, for pete's good sake. i mean, von is kinda fugly.
ugh. so wanted to use my mom's credit card but the basic shipping fee all the way here is (42.50. x 1.7) well you do the math !!!
shit lah. im sooo tempted.....
okay. i think i still have her credit card no. somewhere around .....
moosik : Lonestar - Let's Be Us Again
i think its 9:51 PM now
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
i cant eat i cant sleep whenever im without you
anyway im talking to a Very Sweet person online now so imma blog laters.
okay. i cant demolish that cheek-to-cheek grin.
thus i wont try.
so we're gonna buy a new house, probably Parbury condo. and sell one of the houses, aldea blanca and maybe the bedok hdb. gonna go house-hunting this wkend. i mean, think bout it, am gonna be neighbours with ryan max and ken! though not very enticing but still. 6th and 8th aunt. why cant they buy tanah merah condo instead? at least rach and ruthie and heather's there. heh. i can even run over to rach and ransack her wardrobe. -toothy grin.
haiz. i miss human beings hanging out at my place. i mean in sec sch, i dont think there was a school day, or a day for that matter, that nobody was at my house. regulars like haoting, aud, joanne, evelyn, anggraini, fraemone. mann, i miss being a host. i miss running up and down the entire house like mad just to please them. i miss that silly thing i did, when i wrote up a menu, so that they could choose their drinks and snacks. HAHA. gawd, i was so cute then. lol..
anyway, back to house topic. so they suggested Reviera, which is Just Opposite aldea blanca. like wth!? and we heard it is haunted. thats why they're building a new condo to ..yknow. kinda hammered by that thought though. YIKES. im gonna be alone at home half the time lorr. hope they buy a house soon.
i need some change around here.
audiophile : Hoobastank - Same Direction
i think its 11:32 PM now
Sunday, July 04, 2004
okay. very good. im being cheated !! there isint any episode 10 of the simple life. grr. its season finale no. 7! nvm, waiting for season 2. see how they embarrass themselves in fronta national tv.
bought a truly vintage tee from topshop. it says, "Rock and Roll High School". gawd, always wanted a tee that said that.
just got back to change. am off to the club for dinner.
and max is crying cuz she cant get her blogger started.
oh by the way, she has a blog. !!!!! and she's only 8.
-shakes head.
i think its 6:28 PM now
i think its 1:04 AM now
okay. HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAYSHER NEOOO !!!! got her a skirt from Topshop. a pink skirt. hope she likes it. oh well. its Pink and its a Skirt. her 2 most favourite things in the world. aiyah shit. cant find her a pink skirt that has my face embroided on it. anyway.. just came back frm her party.
alot of stuffs happened. dont really wanna elaborate on them.
but if there's someone who deserves it most, its you.
so dont let anyone, including *, ruin it for you.
in about 4 mins, i'll be watching The Simple Life episode 10 !! wireless is good. speedy, efficient and effective.
so its like every sunday, its Shopping Day. theres no need for asking or wot. where? wisma. taka. i havent worn clothes that i bought.. 2 mths ago. -_- i want that fcuk top!! okay shall get it tml. and that Elvis vintage tee!! i really do have a sugarr mommie.
tution-ed Ken in the morning! heh. yeah can hear you go.. "you?! teach!?" i can teach okay. im very funny, i can make him laugh, and i can impart some knowledge too. -coughs. right. who am i kidding? almost screamed at him lor.
met cheese for some pool later. who, by the way, wore PINK. -smirks.
you look gooood baby. :))
my motto, for now, : "less sleep, more play."
im sticking to it.
okay too tired, too tired.
zhai4 ting1 : Stone Temple Pilots - Plush
i think its 12:07 AM now
Saturday, July 03, 2004
okay yeah am at maxines house now.. rach n max are looking at me while i type.. damn KAYpo lor.. stop looking LAH.
ya mann max is sooooooooo kaypho..why do u think i named her kaypoh in my phonebook!?!?!?----courtesy of rach!
whoa lao intrusion!!! the above was typed by rach as you can see. poor spelling. tsk. -shakes head.
maxine declines to comment.
aights. off to eat.
i think its 1:01 PM now
may i say, you looked so darn cute, sleeping on the mrt train floor ?
i believe hearts dont break, they bend.
i think its 10:29 AM now
ahhh. i only slept like 2 hours last night. my head's swarming. very good.
and am out-bidded for that von dutch top from eBay. :((
a few more great laughs, and i'll be better.
my uncle is so irritating ! :| whole day msg me wanna go watch movie, wanna play squash, and he's even offered to let me train tennis, just so he can "crush me". TRASH. TRASH !!! ugh. and during gp, chem AND physics, he msged me all those lengthy jokes. -rolls eyes. i should get a job like his. his pay is atrocious, and whats more, he seems so free! no. actually i wanna play mahjong all day and be a taitai and wear Louis Vuitton and Chanel and whatever they wear. oh yeah, JADE.
so czech's going home. like, yay? HA. told You. my money's on
Moosik : Christina Milan - Dip It Low
i think its 12:14 AM now
Thursday, July 01, 2004
did i mention that while high tea-ing yest at orchard hotel, i saw 2 mediacorp actresses? yeah well i did. dont really know their name though. but they werent very friendly. wearing caps and shades and all.
anyway im hooked on green tea frapp. to everyone who meets me, i'll be like, "hey grab a green tea frapp for me". ha, my mom bears the brunt of it.
okay i know a super-human called vanessa pong. omfg she doesnt slp for 2 consecutive days and then she can sleep for 20 hrs straight!? where did you come frm dear?
so very good. great. brilliant. for every test that ive sat, i have at least one topic that i didnt have the notes for. loosely translated, i didnt study that entire topic. how nice. really. how did i get that blur? have i reached chun's obscurity? [inside joke] hell. -bangs head on wall.
i have formed a rather amicable relationship with my home-bee, Bob. he flies into my room every now and then, and interestingly enough, he doesnt irk me like how Susan[that moth] and Terry[that bat] does. he likes to fly into those holes and konks where nails are supposed to go in. think he treats them like the nectar holes. he would like, come in, fly in fronta my face, say a silent hi, then fly off to those holes. how cute.
moosiK : Eskimo Joe - Liar
i think its 5:50 PM now
Kim