Wednesday, June 30, 2004
just got back. heh. went to eat that Chocolate Indulgence thingy at orchard hotel ! i ate DAMN LITTLE. like only 1kg of chocolate. MANN. that is smth i just cannot resist. you, and chocolates. hmmm. -licks lips.
so anyway, apparently, im not going to uk anymore. -_- arghhh. kinda disappointed. Big Ben and Eiffel Tower misses me.. Harrods too. HA~
dont wanna think about you, think about me. dont wanna figure this out.
i have this addiction to nike socks. seriously, like im buying one everyday. i dont think i have any socks thats not nike. any colour, you name it. blue, yellow, red, orange, clementine, pink, black, grey, LIME GREEN. and mom just bought any 4 for me. tml im going to buy another one.
cant wait for friday to come !! totally no mood to study bio now.. gonna go catch some winks before i wake up and watch Holland vs Portugal tonight ! i'm totally rooting for holland. but i know portugal will win. and i cant watch greece vs czech's match tml ! grr. nvm. hope my money doesnt go down the drain again.
damn. im gonna murder beckham when he comes home tonight.
audioPhile : Train - Ordinary (Spiderman 2 OST)
i think its 7:38 PM now
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
i would like to start off by saying
i had everything to do with it
you may thing that i lie real well
you can tell that i'm holding it in
nevermind the time or the spinning of your head
i can tell that my life was changing
since the minute i met you
and if i
i'd probably choke on the words i never said
and if i stop ever thinking of you,
i'll bury my heart and fall back on my bed
and what a sight that'll be, yeah
i will never tell you this
but i'm scared of falling apart
it may seem that i'm holding this together
but the weather is making it hard
nevermind the time or the spinning of your head
i can tell that my life was changing
since the minute i met you
and if i stop ever thinking of you,
i'd probably choke on the words i never said
and if i stop ever thinking of you,
i'll bury my heart and fall back on my bed
and what a sight that'll be
all my friends surrounding me
just cause you've made it this far
doesn't mean you've made it
and if i stop ever thinking of you,
i'd probably choke on the words i never said
and if i stop ever thinking of you,
i'll bury my heart and fall back on my bed
and if i stop (STOP!) ever thinking of you,
i'd probably choke on the words i never said
and if i stop ever thinking of you,
i'll bury my heart and fall back on my bed
and what a sight that'll be
and what a sight that'll be, yeah
i think its 7:47 PM now
you wouldnt even know if love bit you in the armpits .
am going
so today right, before Physics, i went to class straight. kinda nice, nobody around. and then van came around 743. so went studied abit, skipped assembly, and waited for the rest of the class to come up. so you know, we crapped, talked bout the test, and how late she slept last night. [MAN !! half an hour only. that girl ah. if you're reading this, pls slp earlier okay] anyway, 750 came and went. 755 whizzed by. 8 was our test. so she started calling moony. i called kas. and some others. ALL no reception. and at the same time, we looked at each other and were like, .. "SHITTTT!!" haha. okay, that about sums up my day. am gonna eat some swiss roll my auntie made..
totally no mood to study for chem tml. hAh. maybe gonna eat high tea with pa-e tml..
my mom's best friend. we have amillion of her dvds at home lah. maybe i should start working out ...
i think its 7:20 PM now
Monday, June 28, 2004
life's one Big Fat Bitch without you. :(
meet me say.. 12ish under that angsana tree ?
gees. i needa start replying my friendster msges .. but as usual.. am lazy.
how can i be heard ? if only i had shakespeare's way with words..
if i told you this was killing me, would you stop ?
i think its 6:44 PM now
Sunday, June 27, 2004
i simply cannot imagine, that before a grand total of One Day to my block tests, my mother actually pulls me to go shop/party with her. -shakes head. thats my mother for you.
and besides, i was feeling very down [pardon for the lack of strong phrases] due to my progression, or lackthereof, of my studying, so she bought me like, NIKE DUNKS !!! cool shit.
currently feeling very very bad. gosh, my english. ?! spent at least a thousand bucks on clothes this
decided that i really really detest/abhor/hate people who mug like crazy and/or proclaim otherwise. wth. leave your little lies to when you get married LAH. GEES. some people are so idiotic.
rach are you feeling better honeyyy ? go clubbing soon, yes?
we did it all for the Glory of Love.
i think its 12:14 AM now
Friday, June 25, 2004
just that day in the car, i spun by that all-too-familiar stretch of road i have come to pretend it doesnt exist. i used to detest it because of the central dividers which meant i had to use the overhead bridge, and buses always came late on rainy days.
i remember that wringing road, walking 10km out to the bus stop in the scalding sun; and where it leads to, a peaceful and 'goodman' road. i remember being so crushed that i wouldnt be in the same class as you anymore, like we did in the past 8 yrs, but at the same time euphoric as i stare at my unladen future. i remember you waiting for me aft sch everyday, claiming i took such a long time that you watched every student trickle out of the sch gate, then i arrived. you always complained in such good nature when you say you'll murder me for being let off so late again but never once did you get pissed off. not even once. i remember falling insipidly in love and the first time he gave me the letter, you were there to share it all with me. we even went on double dates to almost every place in the vicinity. i remember so many attachments; they came and go like the wind, but ever reminding me of that little fat white pig, a nickname you coined up just to irk me. i remember finally understanding that quirky feeling when we laughed so hard i had to pee. i remember our ridiculous bubble tea facination and our cab-taking extravaganza. but what i remembered most - people telling me they wished they had what you and i shared.
and then i vividly remember falling in love again, and how you encouraged me to seek for my happiness. and i stood and watched my happiness morph from a total stranger into someone i thought i could spend the rest of my life with, thinking i could never be happier. i remember one day after lunch, we both cabbed back to sch just to see the both of them. i also remember those late-night emergency talks, sobbing my heart out but feeling so much better after that. i remember feeling so helpless when she broke your heart, feeling like i've let you down. and then, a particular person entered my life, and then you walked out..
-
i remember breaking your heart that day, and then mending it back that same night. i remember how we could talk endlessly of everything about nothing even when we see each other 24/7. i remember the storms, the passion, the tears. i remember countless stayovers at your place and Sally's with them, the many vcds, the marathon mahjong sessions, the whole shitload of junk food. just few of the many things we enjoy. i remember those blemishes on your face and how i insensitively nicknamed you Chucky and moon-faced. you were very offended but you took them all in your stride. i remember getting so pissed drunk that night i called you. i remember when we sat in your playground and laughed over the slightest thing. i remember watching crap movies but not giving a damn over the 8.50 because we were making out throughout. i remember not feeling anything for you, but falling blindly in love with your best friend.
-
i remember crying over the very tiny things that reminded me of you. and how everything reminded me of you. i remember what you told me and cried like fuck, going to sch the next day with swollen eyes. i remember the both of us enjoying Escape so much we took Cadbury 7 times. we didnt understand why everyone said it sucked. i remember you burning your hand while bbqing satays for me. and then demanded that i bring some aloe vera immediately, knowing that i would get very frantic. you just looked at me and smiled. i remember spotting you in a sea of faces in sch, feeling all those corny phrases Elvis uses. the palm sweats, the heart beats, the light-headednss. wondering if there would be anyone else who would make me feel this way again. i remember how you would only talk about your dreams and aspirations with me, under that twilight sky, under that pink horizon. i remember the whole fiasco and then thinking there's nothing i want more than to see you happy. i remember you being happy.
-
and then i remember finding three people who i had so little in common with, and then went on to become one of the best friends in the world. i remember that little rhino book we used to write all our innermost thoughts and secrets, and left them lying around under the desks for everyone to see. i remember controlling my laughter and biting my lip till it bleed when jan fell over the bball 3 times. i remember when the four of them let the four of us down, we huddled, consoling ourselves tt we do not need them, knowing deep down we really do. i remember breaking down during chinese lesson, dashing to the bathroom, and then the 3 of you came chasing after me, banging furiously on the door, worried sick, leaving huang lao shi bewildered. i remember kooky-ing at the back of the class so often, we were threatened to be put to each corner if we dont shut the hell up. i remember all of us and our bao and siewmai infatutaion. how we would make a mad dash to the canteen before the queue piles up. i remember our silly promise to live together in a gigantic Bukit Timah mansion when we grow up, and who would buy the groceries etc. most of all i remember tears in our eyes when we couldnt be in the same jc.
-
i remember downing glass after glass of champagne and cheap beer, feeling like my liver couldnt be more soaked with alocohol, that night i knew i lost you to someone else forever.
i remember your eyes.
i remember your smouldering looks.
i remember your hands.
i remember holding your hand when we sat in the pirate ship, no matter how scary it wasnt.
i remember your silence.
i remember everything.
i think its 12:11 AM now
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
* says:
u la.. haha how to study with e "2 nanoseoncd girl" stuck in my head..
haha. damn cute can.
i think its 1:19 AM now
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
i'm not here for the "its not you, it me" speech. because letsfaceit honey, you're the one with the problems here.
whatever you think you might know, you dont. so dont go assuming okay?
2 rounds of bsb and westlife, still, i am not feeling fine.
am on a major memory rampage tonight. i totally freaked out when i couldnt find That Particular Photo.
which is why i went ahead to Raffles Hotel's Ah Teng's Bakery ! the pastries there so rock my socks. whats more, at 830 every night, they're at half price!
so today, i layed by the pool, shades on, 'block on, sipped on lemon teas, nibbled on Dutch cookies, reading my Shopaholic book ... NOT. ugh. life is M-I-S-E-R-A-B-L-E. i cannot do anything without feeling the necessary but no-so-urgent need to study, study, study. [read: geeky but not-so-geeky]
i wanna get a naval ring! shit toes. meaning having to stow my stomach away from my mom for the rest of my life. not very wise huh.
andandand i want the Nokia 7610 !! someone offered to let me use.. but.. hell. it would only make me want it more? im contented with my V878. im contented with my V878. im contented with my V878. -repeats. anw, Lana Lang has the same phone as me in Smallville.. so that has to be kinda okay right ?
am comtemplating whether or not i should go with mom to London aft my block tests next wk? hmm. would be kinda cool to ride out to Marseilles or St Tropez.. provided the shitty sch allows..
anyways,i recieved a couple of US uni applications ... WHYYY!? -scratch head.
scooting off.
can i be a hilton sister for Just One Day ? please.
Meusikh: New Found Glory - The Minute i Met You
i think its 10:53 PM now
There is wonder in most everything I see
Not a cloud in the sky
Got the sun in my eyes
And I won't be surprised if it's a dream
Everything I want the world to be
Is now coming true especially for me
And the reason is clear
It's because you are here
You're the nearest thing to heaven that I've seen
I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world
Something in the wind has learned my name
And it's tellin' me that things are not the same
In the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze
There's a pleasin' sense of happiness for me
There is only one wish on my mind
When this day is through I hope that I will find
That tomorrow will be just the same for you and me
All I need will be mine if you are here
I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world
rach, NAHHH! owe you this. :))
i think its 12:34 AM now
Sunday, June 20, 2004
if i squint my eyes more, i can see this huge mess clumping together to form a huger mAss that seperates me from the better part of you.
even after my bubble bath, my hair still reeks of bbq smoke. went to audrey's chalet at tanah merah Safra. ate a razillion marshmallows and played mahjong. it is still so amazing how the 4 of us can slip into our own comfortable zone everytime, like 4 corners of a square, fitting into a puzzle that completes our story. (:
jan, geraldine, audrey. wo shi very love ni men de!
okay. Shanghai. twas awesome. although some bits of it were lip-bitingly boring, like the temple and pagoda/park bit. yikes. i'm sorry but all the granite looks like a dreary piece of shit. and it couldnt stop raining the first 2 days we were there. which led me to loudly proclaim that in these few days, i've held an umbrella more than i ever had in my entire lifetime. lol..
and i cannot believe i ate ice-cream for Everyday that i'm there. and hell load of junk ! yikes, at the rate i'm going, i wont be able to survive..uh, yeah, survive, period. handles of love are sticking out everywhere. even jan who almost always adamantly refuse to accept the fact that yes, i'm fatter, even commented on my tummie. -_-
anyway, my band, The Vegetables [forgive us], was transpired during this trip.
Rach (chilli) - Guitar
Me (
Max (cucumber) - lead singer
Ken (potatoe) - Drums
we even have our very own anthem. which, is a whole different, very embarrassing story altogether. -hides. so we ate, we laughed, we walked in the rain, we explored our chinese roots, we endured countless terror toilets, laughed more, ate more .. you catch my drift. sang our hearts out, sang much of this and that, sang with rachie and max.. and uh, off-key ken. had a absolute swinging time wit them. i mean, i dont understand how some people can live with seeing their cousins for only a few times a year? gawd i couldnt live without them mann. =)
took many pictures, would upload it immediately 'cept imagestation is being such an old granny.
am escastic with my new purchases -ticks off fingers. :
- 3 Von Dutch Caps
- 3 ear rings/studs
- 1 Puma shoe
- 2 belts
- numerous sun shades
- 2 Adidas bags!
- mags
((: two times the reason to smile tonight.
i think its 10:45 PM now
Saturday, June 19, 2004
am backkk. too lazy to blog. didnt sleep a wink last night. gonna go sleep now ! nights world. i think its 9:09 AM now
Monday, June 14, 2004
am running late. the chauffer's on his way. gotta catch a jet. am so sad and i dont know why..
i think its 3:03 PM now
Sunday, June 13, 2004
the best magaritas on mars.
just finished packing. such a headache! wanna bring nice clothes so can look nice when taking photos.. HA. my darlin rachel neo's there already! wondering how she's holding up, with all those kids. yayy, mom says she's gonna buy my nike shoe at the airport tml.. :D
dunno why. i'm supposed to be very psyched up about the trip. but on some level, i'm not. maybe just the plane ride. the movies, the albums. the peanuts, the endless supply of coke and orange juice! AHHHH. okay, now i'm all excited. -hops about.
i know i am blogging hell alot, but.. have to make up for not blogging for the next few days! yeah, i'm coming back this saturday.. i'll probably just eat my hand and cry my heart out.
i'll miss you, you, you and you. :)
and LaPooh.
anyway, teemie made this incredible vid for senior/junior class.
kim *// if you dont know me by now. says :
GREATTTT JOB !!!!
kim *// if you dont know me by now. says :
=))
teemie says :
haha thx
kim *// if you dont know me by now. says :
damn nice
teemie says :
i made sure that there were enough scenes with u in it...
tmd. !!!!
-
watching the video, realising i really do love van and moonie alot. aww? :))
i think its 11:08 PM now
life is goood.
i think its 5:06 PM now
i held back my temptation to jump on my bed, flailing my limbs, thrashing about wildly. i have to mess up the kitchen.
where did you go ?
Moosik: She Wants to Move - N.E.R.D.
i think its 2:38 PM now
anyway, this is a movie thats so home-hitting, truthful, and honest that it stares at you straight in the face, not caring wotever backlash there is. the eye candies're not that hot though. chris lee!? for godsakes, get a life, fann. seriously, am not expecting myself to be praising a home-grown movie. but hell, there are many elements of sporean life grained into the movie that i think, it touched me, too.
Moosik: Last Thing On My Mind - Ronan Keating & LeAnn Rimes
i think its 2:05 PM now
watched the last episode of friends. and i think i know wot people mean when they say, "laughing through your tears". and i finally know how's it like to cry, but struggling to keep the tears at bay, not wanting them to blur your vision, being able to see perfectly, lest you miss anything, any emotion, any expression.
i dont need another reason to cry.
albeit a happy ending - an ending i've always hoped - i cannot imagine monday nights without friends. thank god for re-runs and dvds.
-melancholic sigh.
i hear everyone saying oh yeah my favourite comedy has to be friends. oh yeah uh-huh so funny so humourous! -rolls eyes. dont say anything like that if you do not watch it every week okay? every month, for that matter. that doesnt make you cool, at all. wanna know TRIVIA ? ask ME . i can name you who said wot, did wot, wanted wot, laughed wot, cried wot, wot season, wot episode, whatever.
i dont think i felt this sad when Melrose Place was cancelled.
bring on the sappy songs! the Kleenex! the pillow and the formidable memories etched deep. for i am ready.
MuSik: Open Arms - Journey
i think its 12:25 PM now
Thursday, June 10, 2004
you're my only reason, you're my only truth.
its crazy, how silly songs like LMNT's Hey Juliet can conjure up so many memories.
maybe i'll be a tad more mentally stable if YOU were here. with me. AAAAAAAAAAHHHH. whywhywhy.
i wanna learn how to control my dreams, i really do. stupid Uncle, jumbles up the bag with "Sweet Dreams" and "Dark Fantasy" and "Nightmares" all together, to churn out something, very, very, .. odd. disjointed.
thats just what. you're nice. that's all you are. nice. NICE.
you dont make my toes curl. you dont make my heart pound so loud i'd think i'm almost wrangled breathless. you dont make me stop my work and stare into the faraway space for a full ten minutes before wanting very much to hold you. and you certainly do not make me wanna eat strawberries with sugar and then pray we're gonna be like this forever. no, you dont do all that.
but you do. you really really do.
i think its 4:32 PM now
i cannot reply to ANYONE's msges, and i cant approve ANYONE'S requests or testis. hAHa. okay nvm.
after being half-smoldered over my friendster's password for ages, i finally recovered from temporary amnesia and went to add more people.
and so i received more than one proclaimation of astonishment over the number of friends i have on my list. and therefore, doubts about whether i am really, me. WTH ?! fine, i shall go add everyone i know okay?
went WILD WILD WET with zhuan, moonie, benjie, and cheese yest .. ! it rocked ! although i think there were more rides in Frasier Hill? -shakes head. i took immediate liking to the family ride thou, cuz it takes pictures ! yesyes.
went to watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind today . it was hazy, to say the least. but the apt part of it was their insane ability to erase someone, anyone of their choice, from their memory.
how i wish i could do that. how i wish i could just strip you out, tear you away from my grey matter. just like that. -snaps fingers. maybe then i wouldnt want to tell you all the things i wished i had said but didnt.
and then maybe i wish too much.
sometimes for us to walk down the beach, just to feel the touch of sand on our feet. to stay up all night by the fireplace, talking about almost nothing at all. i want you to wake me up before dawn, not to see the sunset, but because you're bursting to talk to me. to hear what i'll have to say.
i wish for too much.
MuSik : Dashboard Confessional - Again I Go Unnoticed
i think its 12:35 AM now
but gosh darn it. am rather irritated with someone who totally made me waste my time. GRRR. okay so its semi-ly my fault too. but who's the one who said all bout 'dont say things you dont mean'? -rolls eyes. damn off.
such a bunch of boo-hockey, some people are.
anyways, my flight's confirmed. monday to Shanghai 1655. the other half of my family would be going there this saturday ! ugh, but have to stay here longer to "study abit more". wth. which returns to the above topic of TOTAL WASTE OF TIME. dont wanna talk bout it mann. make me blood sublime only. lol
i will put on Runaway Bride OST and go to sleep.
that's my remedy. wots yours?
i think its 12:13 AM now
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Cigars in the summertime under the sky by the light
I can feel you read my mind
I can see it in your eyes under the moon as it plays
Like music every line
There's a rug with bleeding dye under the fan in the room
Where the passions burning high by the chair
with the leopard skin under the light
It's always Penny and me tonight
On the plane step up with both my feet
Riding in seat number 3 on a flight to NYC
Got my bean in a coffee cup next to my seat
Catch the view and another good book to read
Sending me home on the friendly skies
Missing her eyes
It's always Penny and me tonight
Cause Penny and me like to roll the windows down
Turn the radio up, push the pedal to the ground
And Penny and me like to gaze at starry skies
Close our eyes, pretend to fly
It's always Penny and me tonight
Staring at a million city lights
But it's still Penny and I all alone beneath the sky
Feel the wind brushing slowly by
If I could soar I'd try to take these wings and fly
Away to where the leaves turn red
But no matter where I am instead
Singing along to feeling alright
We'll make it by in the pink moonlight
It's always Penny and me tonight
Cause Penny and me like to roll the windows down
Turn the radio up, push the pedal to the ground
And Penny and me like to gaze at starry skies
Close our eyes, pretend to fly
close our eyes pretend to fly
It's always Penny and me tonight
Penny likes to get away and drown her pain in lemonade
Penny dreams of rainy days and nights up late by the fireplace
And aimless conversations about the better days
Singing along to feeling alright, yeah
We'll make it by in the pink moonlight
It's always Penny and me tonight
Cause Penny and me like to roll the windows down
Turn the radio up, push the pedal to the ground
And Penny and me like to gaze at starry skies
Close our eyes pretend to fly
close our eyes pretend to fly
It's always Penny and me tonight
Penny and me tonight
Penny and me tonight
Hanson's best song thus far.
aights. off to town.
i think its 3:08 PM now
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
you're over me ?
when were you .. under me?
i think its 7:54 PM now
i think its 6:00 PM now
you got my flying.
its perpectual bliss. :))
i think its 12:01 AM now
Monday, June 07, 2004
pinkie. :))
i think its 12:25 AM now
am suddenly thinking of that someone. alot. i cant help it. i cant stop it. it fills my mind like, neon, neon, neon. it engulfs me, seperates me from the other good side of the world. like a huge black quilt, blanketing me into oblivion, until i am fully uncapable of thinking of anything/anyone else.
would it be harder to stay, or to walk away?
i think its 12:15 AM now
Sunday, June 06, 2004
decided against being raucous. i mean, GOD KNOWS. therefore, i hope you self-annihilate.
i think i'm in love with usher.
i think its 11:54 PM now
Friday, June 04, 2004
caught HP today. max and i were just so darn bloody escastic. were literally chewing our lips. ken and jeremey too. they were making so much noise some insufferable guy turned around and shh-ed them up. -grimaces.
harry potter was, wot else? beautiful, dark and already i cannot wait for Goblet. another excruciating wait.
we went to search for the mothers who were perming their hair at orchard hotel. at MOODS. its by far, the most posh and modern saloon i've ever stepped into. minamilist. felt like i was in a spa room rather than a hairdresser. anyway, there were 2 guys there. they have to be super metrosexual or they'll just be lingering on the brink of gay. but they're superb. they HAD TO BE !!! so bloody ex. grr. altogether $427?! but am rather happy with my fresh mane. :))
i'll just have to wait for the fever onslaught.
i think its 10:03 PM now
Thursday, June 03, 2004
damnit. how am i gonna go about applying for a uni now !? and wot uni !? part of me really, REALLY wants to go to a US uni, like UCLA, or some Ivy League. but somehow Melbourne Uni sounds much more safe and like you know, home-y. really feels like my path is like this huge artery, leading to numerous other tiny capillaries. like i'm about to bulge out if i dont make a move soon.
i wonder why i'm always faced with such unsurmountable tasks and decisions and why i always have to rely on myself, my misgiving hormones and my jumbled up emotions to do something, anything. and why do i find it so ardous to trust someone ? or when i do, why do they ALWAYS turn their back around and lash it all with pepper? bloody fucktards.
i think its 10:50 PM now
supposed to bring my cousins out to watch HP while the mothers perm their hair.
so this was the situation just now:
(mom's on the phone with aunt)
mom: ya okay she will
me: -shaking my head profusely, 2 hands doing the "crossing NO" thing, with a serious adamant look in my eye-
mom asks me: so wot time will you be picking them up?
me: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! (silently, of course)
mom: say around 12?
me: (keeps shaking my head and begging and pouting)
mom: she'll take a taxi and meet us at orchard.
okay. this is just fabulous. i should go and commit suicide now ...
moosik : Juliana Theory - Musicbox Superhero
i think its 10:00 PM now
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
i refuse to watch Harry Potit was really kinda nice. we both sitting in an inconspicuous corner in that small little part of eastern singapore. surreal, but nice.
i think its 11:32 PM now
i think its 12:05 AM now
Kim