Thursday, April 29, 2004
you know when life hands it out to you in silver platters? and then takes it all away with a single piece of bad news? yes. thats how i spent my evening.
life sucks. mind the horrible adoloscent language but yeah, basically, it sucks. some people are totally pissing me off. if i werent coming home each day to my sacred haven i call my room, i think i'd rather take the scoot off the building. this -spreads arm wide- room keeps my sanity, balances me out, and removes any bad kharma. and that, i have to say, is increasing with each passing day.
this few days have just been really crazy. have become a full-fledged bi
had a little retail shopping today. almost bought down the entire flash n' splash. sheesh, i do not want to think about how much i spent there..
haha mom's highly pissed cuz her new LV bag was rained on !! lol
anyhow. was talkin to my mom bout where im headin to next yr.. she said she had it planned that i'd go US.. UCLA? NYU? the likes. or some really crap uni, i sincerely hope. they have the best frat parties and palaces as hostels. and then we stopped talking for a while and i think we both had the same thing on our minds.. "HOW THE HELL ARE WE GONNA LIVE APART?!" and.. "HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA COPE ALONE?!" yes, i'm not as independent as people make me to be. maybe i should just study in nus.
and maybe all the irritating people in the world should gather together and burn themselves alive, complete with red indians and all that hoogashaga.
issuematic .
my mom wants to perm her hair. i think its good. i dig that whole maggie mee action. in fact, maggie mee with eggs are good. eggs are healthy. eggs are great. and maybe i should fry irritating people with eggs and feed them to the dogs.
i think its 10:35 PM now
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
you dont know. you really dont.
i wanna get semisonic's album !
i really dont wanna bitch, but hell, people should really stop smsing into American Idol. i mean, hold those noble declarations of love! buncha fcuktards, really. save up on yer 50 cents, and do smth else! like, toy with your fingers or wot. itchybitsy fingers.
PMS
kill it.
watching THAT much american dramas has a certain effect. i'm ruder, meaner but more wise. -nods.
Seinfield, M*A*S*H, Will & Grace, Joan of Arcadia, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Sex & the City. just to name a few. gosh, Queer Eye's hilarious. :D
i am so psyched up bout funfair this sat!! almost the entire extended family's gonna come! and Jeremy's the DJ ! how cool is that. cool songs, from a cooolll man. lol. saw the song list and seriously? he's got some reallly punk-it-cool songs lined up. Sarah McLachlan? Michelle Branch? S.H.E?? you LOSER.
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
instead of a Hollywood horror
i think its 11:15 PM now
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
some people want it all
but i don't want nothing all
if it ain't you baby if i ain't got you baby
some people want diamond rings
some just want everything
but everything means nothing if i ain't got you
i think its 9:46 PM now
its bizarre how much time has passed and yet nothing's changed.
it only takes a second of your time to turn around - i'm just a step behind.
whenever.
i think its 9:44 PM now
Monday, April 26, 2004
i dont wanta study !! -jumps up and down.
i just wanna cram all my stuffs into a duffel bag, take a budget airline to L.A., and hit the beach!!! newport beach, preferably. i wanna eat my burritos and deluxe burgers doused with lots of ketchup. i wanna watch mindless day soaps and hit sunset boulevard at 8. i wanna sit alone at Denny's and brood over Los Angeles Times while eating toasts, eggs, sausages, ham, pancakes, bagels and bacon, though how much i hate bacon. i want to be able to walk a mile out to the factory outlet and buy really cheap Guess? stuffs. i wanna rent a video and order chinese takeway. i wanna lie on the beach without worrying when it might next rain; i wanna lay on the sands topping up on my tan, banging to the some seedy old tunes, lapping up on my rita's or a sangria, without worrying about a bloody hangover. without worrying about anything, period. i wanna lead THE life.
why did i ever agree to come back to singapore?
i think its 8:13 PM now
Sunday, April 25, 2004
i wish i hadnt seen you.
i wish i hadnt seen that swagger you take
or that silly grin you often make
i wish i hadnt seen you looking like you do
feeling like a million dollars
sauntering towards me
i could almost reach out and touch the sky
of the things i almost had but didnt wanna try
its getting cold outside baby
//come back to bed
i think its 9:51 PM now
a REAL sport is played with TWO BALLS. :)
i think its 8:27 PM now
had invitations for a pizza party and clubbing with Colin at Chinablack.. but, am on a hiatus. strictly no more clubbing for me from now on. tui chu jiang hu le. lol.
eventually met with with my mom and her high-soc friends at the club.. had a few drinks.. met some Really Wonderful People..
someone once asked me whether would i choose to be with someone whom i love but doesnt love me back or someone who loves me but i dont love them at all.
well, i guess the selfish part of me wants the former. but hey, if you cant be with the one you love, love the one you're with.
i think its 1:25 AM now
Friday, April 23, 2004
have got a new email addy. this new thingy google's introducing.
deadfishie@gmail.com
i think its 6:14 PM now
i think its 6:10 PM now
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
uber true. i think its 9:50 PM now
oh gawd, im screwed.
before i gleefully accepted this lappie, had quite a few drones drilled right into my head by mom.
dont lose it.
dont spoil it.
dont touch anything that remotely has to do with viruses and protections.
now i see wot they mean when they say they cant trust me.
i "pulled a Kim". oh hell.
besides that, i'm rather proud of myself. -pats back.
learnt a few ropes on that whole firewall thing, d/led Kazaa Lite K++ [use this! much better than the ordinary version], managed to get back to my usual routine of dl-ing moosik..wait. why is my cursor shivering? its shaking violently.
lol.
just had a fab lunch of strawberry waffles with maple syrup, butter and STRAWBERRY ice cream!! beats canteen food anytime. -barfbarfbarf.
and yayy. Kim 1 Mom 0.
i used LAN to trasfer all my files from my old comp to this lappie! now its filled. yayy. thou still not workin, but i'll get round to fixing it. am sucha genius. :))
gotta get down to doing maths. laters.
moosik: Jamelia - Superstar
i think its 3:42 PM now
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
spent all nite reading up on all that firewall hype, trying to fix the port that keeps blocking my kazaa!! ugh -pulls hair. im getting highly edgy these days.
kazaa aint that hot.
my comp's on and my lappie's on. i have 2 mouses on the table and i keep mixing them up!
the heat's really been krazy.
where you're going that's where i'm gone
i think its 11:37 PM now
Monday, April 19, 2004
you dont care anymore, why should i?
if doesnt matter whether or not i missed a step. you thought it wouldnt hurt to look away for just one second.
and so we danced, ceased to coexist and became two discrete, gyrating bodies made perfect for each other. matched, clicked, tapped away to swing. it couldnt be more complicated.
all you had to do was ASK.
the phone rings and i jump. alas, its not you. now i know. when you dont care, its ten times worse.
john mayer says: i'd walk away from you if i wasn't sucha sucker for you. :)
i think its 9:20 PM now
Thursday, April 15, 2004
you have no idea how caustic i can get.
its clouding up my mind, the way how everything doesnt seem to settle down.
and i'll dare you to move.
dare you to move.
dare you to lift yourself off the ground.
been agonising over how my room will look like, changing and redesigning my table. i want a classy feel, without being overtly matured. i want to make it homey, without it being sweet to the point of nausea. hm-mm. the interior designer's getting impatient. cant he understand! i want a place with a good enough incentive for me to STUDY! kinda hard though, wot with the tv, stereo, lappie and mini snack-bar all in the vicinity of a few square metres. :((
its incredibly hard to concentrate when you're filling up my mind like neon.
ive come to realise, that music is indeed an anesthetic. the numbness only lasts as long as the song does. either you get an ipod to get you thru dirt poo, or plunge into an abyss of self-depression.
sex pistols are pumpin me up.
i like writing. okay, that was seriously disjointed but yeah. i do!
i hate it when people let me down. but seriously, i DONT GIVE A DAMN .
i think its 10:47 PM now
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
clocks strikes upon the hour
and the sun begins to fade
still enough time to figure out
how to chase my blues away
I've done alright up till now
it's the light of the day that shows me how
and when the night falls
my loneliness calls
Ohhhhh I wanna dance with somebody
I wanna feel the heat with somebody
yeah I wanna dance with somebody
with somebody who loves me
oh I wanna dance with somebody
I wanna feel the heat with somebody
yeah I wanna dance with somebody
with somebody who loves me
i've been in love
and lost my senses
spinning through the town
Soon or later the fever ends
and I wind up feeling down
i need a man who'll take a chance
on a love that burns hot enough to last
so when the night falls
my lonely heart calls
oh wanna dance with somebody
i wanna feel the heat with somebody
yeah wanna dance with somebody
with somebody who loves me
oh I wanna dance with somebody
I wanna fell the heat
yeah I wanna dance with somebody
with somebody who loves me
(Somebody who somebody who)somebody who loves me
(Somebody who somebody who)will hold me in his arms
oh wanna dance with somebody
I wanna feel the heat with somebody
yeah wanna dance with somebody
with somebody who loves me
oh I wanna dance with somebody
I wanna feel the heat
yeah I wanna dance with somebody
With somebody who loves me
yeah
Don’t you wanna dance with me baby
Don’t you wanna dance with me baby
Don’t you wanna dance with me baby
with somebody who loves me
don't you wanna dance
say you wanna dance
don't you wanna dance...
with somebody who loves me
i think its 11:05 PM now
Monday, April 12, 2004
okay, was just playin casual bad that day with my uncles, aunties, mom and couzie right? and i HAD to meet Mr Zhang. so he just intro-ed me a few rackets, let me hit some shots and get a feel. and he started asking me bout my sch work and stuff, whether or not im busy. i know zilch bout where he gets his info from. that i went for the audition and got into the sch team, for a FEW PATHETIC DAYS, stopped going to training, and thats it. BAM. out. phased. even though now whenever i see people carrying their bad rackets around, i still feel that twinge of sourness, slowly and sardonically wrenching my insides. oh well, thats beside the point. the point is: HE PUT MY NAME DOWN FOR INTER-CON !!!!
give me a little time and let it sink in. SINGLES?! -shakes head.
dont amuse me.
i declare that Breakfast at Tiffany's is one of the BEST books ever written in the history of mankind. and yes, above Gone With the Wind, Wuthering Heights, Pride & Prejudice, and the shopaholic series. timeless classic, you'd bet.
just two of the many things i hate about it is its pseudo school spirit and over-hyped students' council. somehow i feel ashamed for being part of this entire elitist community. how phony.
i think its 9:19 PM now
Sunday, April 11, 2004
the way you said it, it funny how nothing i feel.
Damn fool.
seriously, dont you know better than to do that?
besides all these, am a happy twit today! cold storaging made me HIGH. totally pig freak, but i just love roaming the aisles.. there's always new food from either US or wherever! people should really stop going to NTUC. or Giant. no matter how apt that name is. GIANT? -rolls eyes.
bought this new white chocolate & cranberries biscuit thingy.. and there's this new range of baked beans that came out! yayy. ha! my mom's complaining that i keep falling sick and having stomach aches at night becuz of the tremendous amounts of baked beans that i eat. well who cares? i dont fart alot. lol.
okay, my mom just told me that she was told by her sister (my 3rd aunt) that her friend said that i looked EXOTIC. like wth!? exotic? makes me sound like a kualulu bird. .
i think its 10:50 PM now
and then i see you standing there
wanting more from me
and all i can do is to TRY..
i love you too much to make you stay
baby fly away.
i think its 12:32 AM now
Friday, April 09, 2004
tonight, i've learnt a couple of things that, like a pearl or a white-washed seashell, although proving extremely difficult to find at first, once found, it was as precious and sacred as an oath.
if only i could describe how i felt when i saw the TWO OF YOU standing there, i will, and most probably would, become J.K Rowling. tears flowed with proliferated ease last night. such an impingement would have probably caused me to cringe in embarrasement, for i am one who never cried in front of anyone. would it suffice to say i'm sorry? becuz i do not think it is enough. and i therefore say im ready to be chopped and grinded into mulch and be fed to the armadillos.
i hate telling people how i feel. i hate people having to know the turmoil raging inside. and i really do hate it when circumstances arise for me to pry open my clam of thoughts, bare everything inside, and having people to prick and prod, to whsiper and gossip, to smirk and snigger, before throwing their scathing tools of precise examination aside, never knowing the scars we wear will never go away.
i do not like that weak spot somewhere around my chest where clueless people usually like to take a blow at. which is why last night, for one of the few times in my life, i could safely say i wasnt under anyone's mercy.
i seriously do hope van and moony are feeling better. both physically and mentally.
wo shi very love ni men de okay?
if only YOU TWO could see how much you've come to mean to me in the past yr. i couldnt have made it thru everything if it werent for you.
so chew your socks. do not touch it.
i think its 12:44 PM now
Sunday, April 04, 2004
we're like... chalk and cheese.
thank you. because you're helping me to make the lumber of my life not a tavern but a temple, out of the works of my everyday, not a reproach but a song.
i think its 9:50 PM now
Friday, April 02, 2004
THAT brought you alot closer. :))
movies ive watched recently:
along came polly
klll bill vol 2
mystic river
lost in translation
gothika
haunted mansion
honey
butterfly effect
smth's gotta give
runaway jury
dirrrty dancing 2
timeline [plane]
shattered glass [plane]
duplex [plane]
scooby doo 2
twisted
HIDALGO
i am SUCH a movie buff.
and soon, soon. i'll watch Passion of the Christ. soon. ugh silly lambie dont have fake id !!!
you know? wot you've just done? aww.
you really do know the way to my heart.
i think its 11:19 PM now
Thursday, April 01, 2004
certainly couldnt stopped the tears that flowed when i saw you standing there, with that forlorn look upon your face. i think its 11:01 PM now
i'm not ready yet, baby I can't pretend
no I can't
the best I can do is tell you to talk to me
it's possible, eventual
love will find a way...
don't say you
you don't even know me
if you really want me
then give me some time
don't go there baby
not before I'm ready
don't say your heart's in a hurry
it's not like we're gonna get
give me, give me some time
here's how I play, here's where you stand
here's what to prove to get any further than where it's been
i'll make it clear, not gonna tell you twice
take it slow, you keep pushing me
you're pushing me away ...
i think its 10:30 PM now
Kim