Monday, December 29, 2003

damn you damn you damn you damn you. why, for crying out loud, do you have to be so gor-fucking-geous?

its finally the end of december. all the family activities are abatting. there was the US trip, Heather's bday, Port Dickson trip, my bday, xmas party, post-xmas party, mark's pre-wedding party, mark's wedding, mark's post-wedding party, new yr eve's party. and the countless meet-ups with the KEYS..

somehow, i dont want this to end. let it go on forever, the late nights, the booze, the even later mornings, going out, coming back outrageously late, or, for that matter, not coming back at all.
come to think of it, throughout the entire hols, there's not ONE day i've stayed at home all day long. sure gonna miss this life.

rewind: hmm, lets see. had movie marathon with yy alibaba & tg on fri. Mona Lisa Smile and School or Rock.
went back to cchs on sat. memories memories. touche.
pre-wedding party at Parbury.
Sunday, Mark's wedding! all decked up to the nines, and had a bulging tummy at the end of the day..
and yeah, played tennis today, until my flapping-like-crazy hair was too much to bear. was with Max today!
am going out with them to town tml.
new year's eve at Alibaba's house ! cant wait cant wait. see wot i mean, i dont stay at home enough to realise there's a doughnut sitting on top of my TV.

i think its 10:55 PM now

Saturday, December 27, 2003

Frankly, honey, i dont give a damn.

i think its 11:15 PM now

Thursday, December 25, 2003

Just woke up not too long ago. had a absolutely fantastic xmas party at Parbury, like we do every year with the entire family. this yr's extra special cos we played Secret Santa!
Ruth was the coordinator, [wots new] so we were supposed to buy presents for whoever's name we picked from the pile. i had to buy for Pinky, and him for me! so qiao. anyways, at the end, we had to write down on a piece of paper who we thought gave us the present. if we guessed correctly, we'd recieve another present. so everyone took their turns, and got KitKats, Porky, Hi-chew.. stuff we usually eat.
so when it was my turn, i had the BOOBY PRIZE Ruth warned us of at the beginning! she handed me a used box of TISSUE PAPER!! can you believe it!? the look on my face. by then, everyone was doubling over with hysterical laughter.
BUT it was ME who had the last laugh.. Inside the tissue was a 10 dollar note!! haha. -farts in your general direction-

lasted till 11 plus, when the party's full swing started to dwindle. headed over to sal's house and played MAHJONG the entire night!
okays, well not the entire night. someone got so slpy so we watched Legally Blonde and Notting Hill..

just put down the phone with yuyun. we're going Causeway Point tml !!
AS IF we would. we've been saying that for ages. might as well bring our passport along so that we can eat dinner at JB ya?

i think its 11:31 PM now

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

i think its 12:08 PM now

USA pictures are up! Like, finally.

i think its 11:50 AM now

just this morning, as i was stirring honey into my tea, i asked myself what did i do, to deserve this.
not just anything, but THIS. could it get any more wonderous?
then i realised, yes, it could. because i have you. you, meaning, all the lovelies who made my birthday the best amongst the years before.
i quote chunying, "the largest party turn-out EVER." couldnt agree more. the people i knew, suddenly became the people i wanted to know forever. almost the whole class came, which, looking at the entity, is not too bad at all. its amazing how our class managed to gel within these few months.

i received a sleigh-full of presents. among which, some really did make me cry. yes, really, wot in the WORLD did i do to deserve this!?
van, chun, fenny, mc, and xt gave me a Groovy Chick luggage which is THE ONLY ONE in singapore, a "DISASTER AREA' sign, and a Precious Moments pillow, already sitting snugly on my duvet cover.
Ger got me one of her "tribesmate" and engraved "CW" on the backside!!
have got plenty of Billabong, Roxy and Quiksilver stuffs. Fila too.
My Godmom gave me a gorgeous pair of diamond earings, that costs so much i dont even wanna talk about it.
and i've got a G-STRING!!! and a duvet cover. a Esprit watch. stuffs. -sighs dreamily-

recieved a call from an unexpected someone. totally, totally, made my day.

and i owe this all to my mom. for making it all possible without glitches, and for spending not a bomb, but several bombs on this birthday. poor thing, she still has that blue-black on her eye from her crash with Ruth on the banana boat at Port Dickson.
thanks dad. for making my lifelong search for eternal happiness worth the while.

and my aunt. who made the BEST muffins in the world.

hugs that were tighter than a dead knot;
smiles that were more than a million watts;
unspoken words that ricocheted repeatedly in my head;
presents that went beyond the practicality of life.
gave a entirely different meaning to this year's Happy Birthday.

i think its 11:05 AM now

Monday, December 22, 2003

maybe its because i'm alone most of the time, i dont like small talkin'.

Port Dickson was great, no doubt. being with them's like being with a dozen of myselfs.
all 31 of us gathered at The TanahMerah, boarded the coach, and off we went. twas a riot, really, everyone was just walking up and down, exchanging food, junk food. managed to blast my discman and got some peaceful sleep. sat with Rachel most of the time, cos we realllly do crap alot.
anyway, the resort was gorgeous. we didnt expect much, after looking at all the dilapidated houses and cheesy hotels on the outskirts.
but Avillion was located on a pristine and private beach, and our Hawaiin-style hotel room was on stilts that jutted out into the waters. pretty, i tell you.
the first night, we went to my cousin-in-laws place for dinner, which was quite a spread. BUT, yes, nothing is perfect. It was at a kampung area, so there were many, MANY flies and bugs. HELLO?? how on earth are you supposed to eat when every mouth you take, god-know-wot-else goes inside too!? we were all incredibly bratish, squealing and squeaking at every fly. in the end, i only ate 3 pieces of jelly. butbutbut, the highlight of the day came laters.
we went back to the hotel, all feeling squirmish and ulerghhh, [you know wot i mean] and my mom brought all the kiddos to the lounge/pub, which was very elegant. dragged everyone out of their reverrie, and i drank a Magarita!!
Pinky had a tequila shot, [knocked him flat], Rach a Vodka Lime, Min a Tequila Sunrise, Audrey magaritas too. we decided it didnt make us tipsy at all, so we got a Charadonigay [however you spell that].
it was a killer, capital K. okay, this was how it went:
the waiter came over, brought the drink, light it up so that the entire glass was in flames. we were then supposed to use a straw, drink up the entire contents in one gulp, and after that instructed to wash it down with a glass of milk. oh god oh god oh god. i dont remember anything after that. aint my mom the coolest?

the next day was spent at the beach.. you know, doing the works. banana boat and stuff. at night was the wedding, boring ol stuff.

third day, home sweet home! smth horrible happened during lunch, but well. lets just say i forgot all about it la huh?
reached home around 6 plus, and had to rush off to Premium Club for some church cell xmas party. very classy, very prim and proper.
was jolly good, though quite boring? everyone in my table was either a doctor, a lawyer, or some bigshot bigot. my mom's friends were asking me if i was an Eurasian.
of course i said yes. DUH.

my addiction to alcohol is getting out of hand.

i hate nursing hangovers.

i think its 9:30 AM now

Thursday, December 18, 2003

off to Port Dickson tml! with the entire family.. booked a tour bus and 12 rooms! yeah! seriously? this beats anything else. i needa get outta here!! no wait, make that "i needa get out of singapore!!"

went wit goony milk today to orchard. ulergh. she said smth which cracked me up. she looked at my toes and said: "if someone only looked at your feet, they'd think you're malnourished!"
LOL. wth!? my toes are a tad too boney. okay, very boney. but still. hmm. talk about MAJOR tummy fat.

this time of the year.. it means so much to me yet i dont have you to share it with.
i miss someone. really do. it was always a comfort, knowing that no matter how shitty you are, there's always someone behind you, willing to listen to you whinge and nag, nodding at all the right places, telling you what you needed to hear, and most of all, giving you all the love and care.
the kind of best friend whom you're not afraid to bare your heart inside out to.
but you're never there anymore.
its just so hard, when you're out there facing the blistering wind all alone.
i cant tell anyone anything anymore. it's just not the same, is it? i'd let pride get in the way, and guess where it left me?
yeah, alone. no doubt. well i guess i deserved it.

i think its 11:23 PM now

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

had a long talk with a certain person.

i dont know wot this means, but i hope it wont lead us down the same road again. the last thing i ever want is for you to be unhappy.

if i could go back in time, i would go back to those unspoiled moments in our relationship.
when doubt never entered our minds,
when hurt never tore our hearts.
cause then, i would hold you a little longer,
and tell you how much you mean to me;
i know we both survived thru that,
hurt but unscathed, ready to love again.
and questions you must have,
questions you're afraid to know the answer yet dying from the numbness of thinking about it over and over again.
i dont know why i do what i did and why i could stand being apart from you.
i dont know alot of things.
but now i do know ONE thing : i love you.

i think its 10:51 PM now

Monday, December 15, 2003

fragments of my memory now floats aimlessly in my head. is this the only outlet?, i mused.
i feel i could never have that much thoughts.
we were at Sedona, Arizona, birthplace of Michelle Branch, and one of the loveliest places i've ever been. in my opinion, there're only 2 places i wanna live in: Paris and Sedona.
if God had visible hands, he would look upon Sedona as one of his finest creations.

we [namely, my mom and i] spent a bomb on shopping. why shop!, when s'pore itself is alr a shopping heaven. i guess its just the mood. christmas decorations up everywhere, what with Thanksgiving just being over, the people are more than friendly. not in-yer-face friendly, but just enough to rub it off us.
from young, i always had VERY red lips. not that i'm heaty or anything, but its just that. one day at Macy's [some sort of Isetan], this old lady came up to me, and spoke in her smothered Southern accent: "Cuse me, where did you get your lipstick from, dears? its pretty."
to which, i replied in my a-little-rough-around-the-edges LA slang: "Oh its natural."
"What sort of brand is it, Natural? i've never heard it before!"

oh well. i tend to talk too little.

we were at Guess?, and the fitting room just became our 2nd home when i fell in love with a grunge rocker chick black pants. pricetag: $160. which in sin dollars times 1.7 [well you do the math!]
i skulked and whinged. and threw my tantrum. i had a major pep talk from mom, who, in the end, relented.
i never realised until now that i truly am spoilt for choice. self-centered, subnarcissistic, selfish, egocentric S-N-O-B.

I bought:
3 Guess? shirts
1 Roxy surfing shirt
1 light brown Guess? cargo slacks
1 light blue Guess? pants
1 black garage Guess? pants
1 brown Levi's denims
1 Guess? dark pink bottom
2 Harry Potter diary [$17!]
car plate hangups. [see photo gallery]
Godiva chocolates.
See's Candies.
i shan't name more huh.

because i'm late ! gotta go meet van.

i think its 10:55 AM now

Sunday, December 14, 2003

Perfect. from beginning to end. fecking brilliant. i could go on all day, believe me, lauding on how perfect it was to the point of nausea. but i wont. half a day, perhaps?

although i promised some certain bodies to update my blog while i was over there, i felt it absolutely insane. who would do that, when there's not a single cloud in the azure sky outside, and the mountains could go on forever? you see my point, i hope.

SIA's the only reason i love singapore so much. so shoot me. i'm politically incorrect. but who cares? the 18 hr journey was made pleasant by the vast amount of movies and on-demand cds i had access to. just for the record, i watched: Matchstick Man [been wanting to watch for a long time], Seabiscuit [superbly dull], My Boss's Daughter [Ashton Kutcher!], Freaky Friday, How to Deal, Turn Left Turn Right [the reason i swore never to watch chinese movies ever], the Mendallion, SWAT, and this vietnamese war movie which i think, surpasses all boundaries ever set. and yeah, i didnt sleep.
you could hear ANY cd you want. Michelle Branch's Hotel Paper, Beyonce Knowles, Evanescence, Ashanti, Jay Chou, S Club, and god knows wot else. purfect? couldnt have been more.

the first few days were hell. we were jet-lagged, sleepy and cold. but boy, hell was certainly a beautiful place..
i dont even know where to start. staring blankly at the blinking line, i wish time would turn back, back to where i first arrived ..
we rented this huge MASSIVE four wheel Ford SUV from Hertz. i had the entire backseat to myself. you cannot imagine my joy when i saw the mini pull-out table with champagne holder in front of me. we spent the next few days roaming around, going to Grand Canyon's North Rim, the World's Largest Meteor Crater, visited some Red Indian Hopi Reservation and stuff.
Food. a 4 letter word which seduced my mind and ensnared my senses.
it was fcuking incredible i tell you. the food. all the diners were littered, literally, in the entire continent. Jack in the Box, Wendy's, International House of Pancakes or IHOP [i'll come to that later], Red Lobster [thats a whole different story], and if i go on now would you even know?
okay, bitch.
i must have gained a million pounds. no bull. bfast is buffet every morning, which was pretty much the same. waffles, toast bread, bagel, and all that mumbo-jumbo. and after, while i plop down in the car i would start to get hungry and chow another packet of chips. or M & M's.
Lunch would be any restaurant found along the way; its like eating blardy Cafe Cartel everyday. except its better. much, much much better. well you know, burger and fries. but that wont satisfy those fat Americans eh? so the meal always comes with alot of bread salad soup & pancakes as appetizer. thank *god* i had enough sense to bring my baggiest slacks.
IHOP. yes. they have .. -drumsroll- CORNBREAD CAKES!!
and i thought i loved kenny's corn muffins. way, way above that man. it was the ultimate, and they couldnt comprehend my infatuation with that silly cake. well, pancake, more like?
and i have a new love. hopelessly. for mexican food. jalepenos, nachos, burritos. fattening and sinful like hell. but i like hell!
nights would be spent eating, [yes wot else] and end with a magarita on the rocks. did i just hear you go "huh..?" well ookay, magarita is a heavenly alcoholic drink with a shot of tequila enough to make you feel like a Ectasy idiot. "on the rocks" would mean salt added around the rim of the glass. perfect lethal combination to take the blabbering doofus out of you.
we would get incredibly stoned and high, giggling at the slightest stuff. esp my mom. she's, thus far, the MOST hilarious human being on this planet. she laughed until she sarted hiccuping over the fact that i burped and farted at the same time.
i have a video of her doing this hiphop thingy. way uncool and ultra sleek.
and i thought i had writer's block for my novel. did i really just ranted so much? i could write one of those "____ for Dummies" book alr!
at the risk of sounding cheesy, i love every single darn thing about usa. for the plain fact that Jen Aniston & her FRIENDS stay in the glitzy Beverely Hills, Calif., to which i drove past and i really think its unfair how pple can live in such BIG houses? wont they like, misplace everything?

anyways i burned most of my mp3 playlist but i didnt really listen. the feeling is totally incredible. as we're driving down the endless old highways, listening to country singers do their cowboy stint, with all e clapping and boot-clicking, we'd try to croon along, and i'd watch the fields change, from lush greenland, to arid red rocks, then to the cacti desert, back to the greens, and i'd think, this isint life. this, is heaven.

i think its 9:40 PM now