Friday, October 31, 2003

need i repeat? i hate pw.
though we rock at it.. it still sucks.

went to airport to study with yy and sally today..
and iris was just sitting beside us!
she was thoroughly entertained by our truly spastic antics.
couldnt blame her. we were guffawing THAT loud!
and it was corn muffins after that! -beams-
sal is one helluva bored git.
cool chick, but bored git.

dont change. dont. not for me.

i think its 11:27 PM now

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

ok. didnt go sch today.
just got back from a huge breakfast wit mum at Kiliney's.
she's off to Shanghai today.. :(
always jet-setting off to some place or other.
-manjaas-
she's been using the same excuse ever since i was young.
"mummy has to work and earn money, sweetheart!"
yeah. -rolls eyes-

forcefully decided to stay at home in the morning today to study chinese
then go for mock later..
but, well, i was just.. coalescing ALL the year's papers..
Man! how many lessons did i actually skipped?!
ok. very soon i'd start feaking out. but now. not yet.

stacy's mom
has got it going on
she's all i want
and i've waited for so long
stacy, cant you see?
you're just not the girl for me..
i know i might be wrong
but i'm in love with stacy's mom~

Stacy's Mom by Fountains of Wayne

i like.

i think its 9:48 AM now

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

I cannot, i repeat, CANNOT get enough of F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
Julia Roberts guest starred!!!

as if I'm ever gonna take you back
as if it's ever gonna come to that
so see you 'round, wave goodbye
be a bird pass me by
as if I'm gonna let you break my heart again
as if I'm gonna let your love back in my life
not tonight, get a grip
baby as if

i think its 10:49 PM now

Sunday, October 26, 2003

yes wait i'll talk about the camp later.

you were NOT supposed to walk by and make my heart skip a few beats.
you were NOT supposed to talk to me and make me stumble over my words.
you were SO not supposed to make me not concentrate and keep looking around for you.
most importantly, you were NOT supposed to make me feel the way i'm feeling now.
harumpppf. guess you didnt meant to.. i forgive you. :)

camp was.. ok, for once, i'm really lost for words.
to put it simply, the kids were fantastically irritating, superbly mischievious, infinitely curious, and disgustingly adorable.
yes, the last part holds the most truth.

i feel so independent standing beside them. they're unbelievable spoilt-brats.
guanyong and i were exasperated beyond repair and everytime any of the Group Facillitators [or GFs as we are so called] walked past each other with a bunch of rowdy kids in tow, there would be an undeniable shake of the head.
couldnt help it, i guess.
but i'm surprised at how chaffed i dont feel.
i was literally dragging my sorry arse to camp!
jan. ger. aud. thank you would not suffice for how you've made everything tolerable and worthwhile at the end of the day.
you cannot imagine how this would all be possible without you in it.
this caps and eclipsed every other feeling i have.
incredible, how such a short span of time lets you prove who you really are.
hmm. food for thought.
by the 2nd day i was illusioned. or rather, disillusioned.
i envisioned kenny rogers corn muffins [all not thanks to hy, yy, tg and sal's phonecall!! grr] Marche's Rosti, NYDC's mud pie and.. cartel's breadd and Death by Chocolate cake!!
imagine forcing down spoonfuls after spoonfuls of rice rice RICE!!
had to bite myself from repeating ihaterice ihaterice over and over again.

to you. your awkward formality, your sheepish smile, and your withdrawn expression. all sums up to a dearly endearing picture.
i officially adore you. tons. :)))))

all in all. i'm friggin tired and there are about a million sore muscles waiting to be laid to rest. oops. that came out bad! lol.
and i have to hand in ALL the chinese work tml.
when i say all, its much more than you can imagine.
plus all the lessons i havent been paying attention.
she's either gonna blast me or expel me or smth-or-other if i dont start doing all the work NOW.
and here i am, giving my two cents worth on my sunburnt and peeling skin.
its funny how i find the entire situation hilarious.
i must be sleepy.

i think its 11:02 PM now

Thursday, October 23, 2003

went rj open house today.. no pun intended but..
it was DREARY. ok maybe i should cut them some slack,
since almost half of them are n**ds. lol.
i'm being mean here.
saw aimei.
she's my mother's sister's husband's sister's daughter.
distant cousin, if you get wot i mean.
anyway the only thing that was worth seeing
was the dance and the HUNKS. ha.
yeah, right.
went orchard with vaness [haha!! i know you totally hate this name]
and walked around.. looking for my quiksilver shirt and her track pants..
for her nepal trip.. i'm SURE gonna miss her when she goes nepal!!!!
-wails- she'd be there and i'd be in god-knows-where..
Montana? Idaho? New Zealand? Scotland?
hmm. hope my mum makes up her mind pretty soon.
i dont wanna have the inkling that i'd be in scotland FREZZING my ass off
and the next moment to know i'm going nz SWEATING my knickers off.
-rolls eyes-

god forbid. my aunt HAD to come and visit me.
just before my camp. grr. now i dont feel like going anymore..
i hinted to ger that.. just to get some good ol' whipping from jan..
hippo: rhino!! come lahh!! why you dont wanna come!?
me: well. you know. THAT thing..
hippo: aiyah never mind wot.. the most we pei you go toilet more often and help you check your ass lah!
me: -shakes head-
hippo: come lah.. it wont be complete without you....

awww.

i think its 5:53 PM now

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

am at com lab now.. van and lupin SO SO gravitated towards the Draco series. lol.
seriously. know hows it like, when you're just.. down?
yeah, well. there's the bottom of the pit, 50 feet of crap, and.. Me.
lowest of my low. am i dead or wot?
and its all cuz of friggin chinese. freakfreakfreak.
grrr. i shall stop blistering on how unfair life is.

oops. gotta go have break wit them. ok stop glaring me already.
i just wanna roll over and sleep.
when i'm expected over there like RIGHT now?

i think its 10:32 AM now

Monday, October 20, 2003

david blaine freaks me out. according to some, fasinating as he may be in real life, he's not that magical in bed. hurhur.
went gelare-ing with van, ting and remus lupin today.
it was fantastic, too bad dear moony had a ailing throat eh?
we decided our bottomless pits were still whingeing for more food
so to cafe cartel it is. i dont believe it, van's never been there before!
such an ulu-pandan.
ate enough bread to feed 10 hungry african kids.
cheapo's we are huh.

pre-camp was amazing. with a capital "A".
i mean, how bad can it get when you're around the people you love most?
though the sleeping part was bad. and the food. and the toilets. considering how many conditions i need to fall asleep - many pillows, aircon, plush bed, quilt, light jazz, pajamas, the assurance of having [shamelessly] my mum nearby - the list is endless.
oh well. we have to report on, yes, Depavali itself at 7-friggin-am.
they're just gonna leave me behind and go to m'sia. totally humpf.

i think its 10:17 PM now

Friday, October 17, 2003

"i will heal the pain, it wont be the same. you're the only one that matters right now.. this time it's for real."
may i bawl my eyes out now?
i know its being incredibly childish of me here but..
baby boom aired its last episode today. WAIL!!!

do perfect relationships ever exist? how can you ever love someone so wholesomely and yet at the same time, reserve a little space for yourself? i dont find that possible. to love someone like that must be a gift heaven-sent. to love, is to give. to cherish, to NOT take for granted, to look past the faults - disappointments, lies, betrayal - and put whatever you have at stake in the backseat. and let destiny steer the wheel. see wherever it takes you. it will spin out of control at times, but ultimately, to be able to love like that is to be able to forgive infinitely.
if you cant forgive me for what i've done while i was swirling in oblivion, high above the clouds and half-sober, what do you mean, exactly, when you say you love me?

i horribly pity the speaker today. almost 3/4 of us were rolling our heads to the beat of dreamland.
tsk. how much more yawn-ish can it get?
went parkway to lunch with alvin,ahpek,van,ting and lyd.
went to tj open house after.
jan was waiting at the other end of the linkway when i reached the sidegate..
and when we saw each other, we were like "Rhino...!!" ... "Hippo...!!"
then we started running. yes. those sort of run
that you reserve for melodramatic, sappy indian flicks.
the whole picture that conjures up is just bizarre and hilarious, really.
but yes, i do miss her a whole lot. truly.

i think its 8:31 PM now

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

pitsaleh

i hate the blog thingamajig. really i do. i wanna change my entire blog skin, but am to lazy to html it.
baby boom just got better! pan lingling is gorgeous. well, except for that brief episode when she was all home-makerish. still.
had SAT today, was sluggish despite the fact i had lots to look forward to.
went to parkway with van and had a over-the-top lunch. we were bursting to our seams! [anyways i know you're reading this sorry for leaving you behind! wanted anything but that! i swear! hope you didnt pig out too much without me watching over you!]
met ruth after that to watch 28 days later.
which, The Ring and Exorcist apart, is the most horrifying, traumatic, distressing, startlingly gruesome and mentally revolting film i've ever seen.
dont get me wrong, i dont have a severe abhorrence for violent movies. but THIS. watching people getting their eyes dug out, infecters having a rage more contemptous than me and the HULK put together.. well.
it's just too much to take. could have sweared i almost puked halfway.
humpf. i'm gonna sleep with the lights on tonight.
this apart. it was helluva nice day. had twisties with cheese while watching the punk flick! [shudders] and had to endure ruth's famous-shake-of-the-head over my quirky sense of taste. oh well. who eats hamburgers backwards anymore? -sniggers-

i think its 9:33 PM now

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

what is a place like this doing in a girl like me?

am at the git's house now.. already, the git is peacefully sleeping on the couch. like the biggest pig i've ever seen. silence wraps its merciless tantacles around me, punctuated only with frequent loud blubs from the pig on the couch. hAha!
have got jay chou's yeh hui mei, david tao's greatest hits and SHE's superstars. and yes, according to merit is that arranged!
dont really fancy chinese songs, never did actually. just that well, we should have a broader range of wave-receptive skills? blah, how lame that came out.
in accordance to my incessant complaints of a mammoth headache,
mum was forced to volunteer to print out the entire Harry Potter series. yoohoo!
i have this unforgivable mollycoddle in Kenny Rogers corn muffins.
there's nothing i dig more than IT right now. oh god. its like ***.
tsk. its getting unhealthy.
forgive me for my intelligence (ah-hem), but i'm not THAT thick to not even realise you're not even THERE anymore.

i think its 5:56 PM now

Monday, October 13, 2003

pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name

Sleep with one eye open
Clutching your pillow tight,
Exit light, enter night,
Take my hand,
Off to Never-Never Land...

my eyesight is deteriorating big-time.
its official. reading my timer, its been 9 hours aand 10 minutes i've been online.
of which, 7 are spent reading Harry Potter.
dubious. very dubious.

i think its 11:50 PM now

Sunday, October 12, 2003

what goes around will come around

although i've prayed for cooler weather all my life, this isint what i want. the weather is absolutely dreadful.
went cycling with them today. and caught Infernal Affairs II at PS after.
when that silly git unceremoniously left. van if you're reading this.. -strangles you!- :)
cycling was a throughly WET and sloppy affair. though the lunch certainly made up for it.

its hard not to look at you. its even harder not to look at you and not think of what you're thinking. its been too long. *and i'm lost without you..
i'd rather erase everything of you i have with me. then to have it as a living reminder of your very absense. memories of when i was deeply obsessed in not letting even the merest thought of you linger on the fringes of my mind resurfaced. can i help them, i ask.
yes thats what you're best at, you reply. i implored the consequences of my getting involved in all these. relics of our time together lay deeply embedded in my head. however am i gonna finally set apart and unchain myself from your palpable silence?
hearache by hearbreak, tears by sobs. i withheld whatever grudge i might have against you. but tonight. it's in full gale, churning amongst it are remnants of my emotions, hoping it would gain its sheer velocity again. only then would i be able to hurl them back to you.

i think its 8:55 PM now

Friday, October 10, 2003

wot swear word are you?
not brought to you by Quizilla

i think its 10:57 PM now

post-promos period ROCK. totally.
have been waiting for today to come for ages.
but now that its here, though, yes, i really do feel the load instantly being removed.. its just.. wierd. empty even. oh well.
maths was gruelling. wots new!? had marche wit them then went towning. it was FUN, as usual. then had dinner with the gits.
and yes. Harry Potter fan fiction. Like, finally?
tons of things i wanna do. among them are things like eating wildly, of which is the top priority, sentosa-ing, shopping, sleeping, hanging out with dangerously hip people, clubbing with chun!

time to take down the formulas and shapes of molecules notes i have plastered on my wall. post promo period ROCK. so many things to do, so little time.

am i just gonna sit around and wait for you turn your back and realise.. you're not the only one i want?

i think its 10:15 PM now

Monday, October 06, 2003

downtoearth toptoheaven

have switched to listening to jay chou's ballads/mumblings/ramblings.

whats with the word "like" huh?
why does everyone go "i'm LIKE.." or "this is LIKE.."
LIKE, whatever.

I want another hole in my ear! obviously, a ear-ring-kinda hole.
had a deal with chun to go after promos. ahh. yes.
am LIKE, in a non-exam mode now..
when everything tells me i shouldnt be. -rolls eyes-

dont ask about the papers, you'll keep your peace.

i think its 7:54 PM now

Sunday, October 05, 2003

cobra pose

eeks. wot am i doing here?! i SHOULD be doing smth constructive.
just got back from the combined party..
swore i'd leave early but.. oh well, does it really matter?
had a off-key rendition of kong hwa school song and the national anthem wit Ryan and Co. lol. got me in laughing spasms throughout the night.
basically, just pigged out with Ruth the entire time; we were competing to see who could eat the most sotong balls! needless to say, i championed it. ?!
ruth, you might never know how much you could ever mean to me.
and how you never cease to amaze me with your beauty.
no one comes close in beating you. :)
thank you for all the support and TLC you've been giving me all these while!
even when i've been on my darn-est!

what can i say. for a mother at 46, do you still expect to recieve presents like when you're 17?!
mum went to sleep tonight like a peaceful baby. she's got all the things in the world going for her. the only thing she needs now is Botox Injections.
[yes mum! i've stopped writing already you can stop strangling me now]

i REALLY should study. really. ok. i am. now. bye.

i think its 12:46 AM now

Saturday, October 04, 2003

fries doused with ketchup

i've reached a point in my life where nothing matters anymore.
mountain-high notes untouched, incessant mammoth headache, reminders to study harder, the amt of food i eat, with the latter being the least important of all.
okay. i know i sould melodramatic here.
i hate being coped up at home.

its been eons since i last blogged! would have liked it to be longer in fact, but with much consideration to vanessa, i've decided to write smth.
pong ba pau!! hang in there! i know you cant wait for marche, i cant wait too!!
[remember our vow to rock our ass out after promos]

hmm. lets see. rather uneventful week. all NOT thanks to promos. went towning with the git on tues to get smth for mum.
ended up getting smth for myself. ha! whats new?
bought her a grey pink-striped pants from waipai, to her absolute delight.
and on wed, turned down ruth's offer to go pig out! bad choice i know, cuz they went to eat smth real glamourous. anyways, got an ice-cream cake from Swenson's, which is doubly yummm-y, for mum.
we all went to Sushi Tei at Millenia Walk for dinner [yummm-y again] and had to lie to her that i had to get smth from ruth at her house.
as if she didnt know what i was up to?
the entire family was there waiting to spounce upon her wit the cake!
imagine her 'surprise'. just when she thought it was the end of the world by getting older.
and to airport it was with alvin and ahpek on thurs.
and now. i just cant seem to do anything besides watching tv AND smsing van. ha! she cheers me up a whole lot. whoever said dieting was easy? :)

am totally glued to the 9pm channel 8 show. i didnt even know it existed till i accidently surfed by it and saw the subtitle below 'Kim!'
now that got me intrigued. oh well. it was worth my attention.
maybe becuz it broaches the subject of infidelity..
'been so long since i was last stuck to a drama series!
not counting Lizzy Mcguire, Kim Possible and Ally Mcbeal.

I miss you.
I know we've said our good-byes,
and I know we've gone our
separate ways,
but I still miss you
I wish that people were like chalkboards,
and we could wash our memories clean.
But we're not.
And we can't.
Yet despite the anger that I feel sometimes,
I still miss you.

We were happy once,
and I remember those times.
I remember how we smiled and laughed,
and how you held my heart
in your hand.
I remember the tears and the fights
and how I took my heart back,
bruised and slightly wilted.
But still, somehow,
I miss you,
and I just wanted you to know that.

i think its 12:47 AM now